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- 02/01/2002 - 02/28/2002
- 03/01/2002 - 03/31/2002
- 04/01/2002 - 04/30/2002
- 05/01/2002 - 05/31/2002
- 06/01/2002 - 06/30/2002
- 07/01/2002 - 07/31/2002
- 08/01/2002 - 08/31/2002
- 09/01/2002 - 09/30/2002
- 10/01/2002 - 10/31/2002
- 02/01/2003 - 02/28/2003
- 08/01/2003 - 08/31/2003
- 01/01/2004 - 01/31/2004
- 06/01/2004 - 06/30/2004
Robo Dork Edition.
8.31.2001
soTRU.org
you gotta see this flash movie: The Bank. Its the kind of thing that i would go through in a day. dayamn that sucks. Link sluted from /usr/bin/girl. You gotta love Zannah's page.
you gotta see this flash movie: The Bank. Its the kind of thing that i would go through in a day. dayamn that sucks. Link sluted from /usr/bin/girl. You gotta love Zannah's page.
tenks.net
special thanks to Chapstickgirl.com, her page is kool. Alot easier to read than playing dance dance revolution on expert.
special thanks to Chapstickgirl.com, her page is kool. Alot easier to read than playing dance dance revolution on expert.
HISTORY101.org
Today I received an email from someone to actually read my page. First off, amazing that someone pays attention around here. Second, the letter concerned something I said in a past entry. I used the word (sorry I have to use the word again to describe the situation) "chink". As much as I love making fun of things, she brought up a good point in her letter to me. The "c-word" carries alot of negative vibe and emotional baggage with it. Running in the same direction as the dreded "n-word". Both considered deregatory in nature and still considered taboo in some circles.
As I sat here and re-read my entry, it came to me that I really didn't know why I used that word instead of something else. It could possibly be that kind of references are mere common words to some of the people I chill with. I dug down deep on this one to find the reason why this word, as well as a whole bunch of other words, can be repeated so easily of the tongue. Am I truely embarrassing those asian-americans that came before my by using the "c-word"? It bothers me to think so.
Another 15 minutes pass and I sit here and wonder some more. My mind tells me that the "c-word" is a collective term for all asians. It's a term to describe our common bond and our heritage. My mind tells me that if someone were to call me that, it wouldn't hurt. I'm proud of my Filipino heritage and the asian bonds that connect me. I love my rice cooker. I love my lecheon. I love mangos. My mind tells me that I'd most likely be called that term whether if I was proud of my heritage or not. But at the same time I'm reminded of how the struggle goes on to have equal opportunities as everyone else. Does that term set me back? My mind maintains forward but keeps me stranded from the truth. Is it really so wrong? Or just language. My mind doesn't know..... what does yours say?
Today I received an email from someone to actually read my page. First off, amazing that someone pays attention around here. Second, the letter concerned something I said in a past entry. I used the word (sorry I have to use the word again to describe the situation) "chink". As much as I love making fun of things, she brought up a good point in her letter to me. The "c-word" carries alot of negative vibe and emotional baggage with it. Running in the same direction as the dreded "n-word". Both considered deregatory in nature and still considered taboo in some circles.
As I sat here and re-read my entry, it came to me that I really didn't know why I used that word instead of something else. It could possibly be that kind of references are mere common words to some of the people I chill with. I dug down deep on this one to find the reason why this word, as well as a whole bunch of other words, can be repeated so easily of the tongue. Am I truely embarrassing those asian-americans that came before my by using the "c-word"? It bothers me to think so.
Another 15 minutes pass and I sit here and wonder some more. My mind tells me that the "c-word" is a collective term for all asians. It's a term to describe our common bond and our heritage. My mind tells me that if someone were to call me that, it wouldn't hurt. I'm proud of my Filipino heritage and the asian bonds that connect me. I love my rice cooker. I love my lecheon. I love mangos. My mind tells me that I'd most likely be called that term whether if I was proud of my heritage or not. But at the same time I'm reminded of how the struggle goes on to have equal opportunities as everyone else. Does that term set me back? My mind maintains forward but keeps me stranded from the truth. Is it really so wrong? Or just language. My mind doesn't know..... what does yours say?
8.29.2001
PISShole.com
i was listening to z100 this morning as usual on my way to work. An interesting topic came up. Women pissing in the men's bathroom. Personally I really could care less if women want to use the men's bathroom to go. BUT. Don't you ever displace a man if they were already waiting or get roudy using the stalls. I mean, just because your a woman doesnt mean you have to shut down the bathroom and kick everyone out. Women are women but if one steps to me and tells me I can't piss cause a chick is in the "MENS bathroom"... I'll throw down dammit..... If theres anything that I learned while in karate its that.... women can defend themselves just fine. A little ass kicking never hurt no-body....
i was listening to z100 this morning as usual on my way to work. An interesting topic came up. Women pissing in the men's bathroom. Personally I really could care less if women want to use the men's bathroom to go. BUT. Don't you ever displace a man if they were already waiting or get roudy using the stalls. I mean, just because your a woman doesnt mean you have to shut down the bathroom and kick everyone out. Women are women but if one steps to me and tells me I can't piss cause a chick is in the "MENS bathroom"... I'll throw down dammit..... If theres anything that I learned while in karate its that.... women can defend themselves just fine. A little ass kicking never hurt no-body....
8.28.2001
damnCHINKS.org
its back to blogging speed as usual. as you can see theres a new layout. it took me forever and a lifetime to settle on a clean design thanks to mark. but i hope everyone likes it.
check this out. you know how all chinks look alike? well now you can test your skills. AllLookSame.com. wow I got a 4 out of 12. "report card: very bad - Obviously you can't tell the difference." i suck so bad. i guess i'm not into asian guessing game. Come to think about it, i probably will have a lower score than someone who isnt asian at all. too bad they didnt have filipinos in there. that must mean we're "unique". hahaha. damn chinks all look alike.
i was at dunkin' doughnuts this morning trying to pay for my usual. Today I only had a hundred dollar bill and they refused it. WTF? why? Because they just recieved a counterfit. Is that my fault? Don't you check it with that marker thingy. Anyways the manager was kind enough to say that I can pay for it tomorrow. That's fine. But inside I feel bad that my money wasnt good enough to be received. It's the same feeling you get when a donkey kicks you in the nuts. *ZoinkS* ouch....I haven't witnessed it but I've seen mpegs for it. Seems like it would suck. I wonder what the first feeling is. So, I compiled a list of the top 10 things I'd think if i were kicked in the *zOinks* by a donkey. [in no particular order]
1. Oh my god. I think my testicle just ruptured. dammit.
2. Damn. Is that my nut sack or my throat?
3. oh. that hurts so good.
4. why me. why meee!
5. Funkin' donkey. he's gonna get it. i swear. [right after i find my balls]
6. wew. at least he didnt get the left one.
7. doh!
8. Did an ass just kick my ass?
9. fuckinsonofbithmuthafuckernutbitchtrickhoemuthasucka.
10. damnnnnnnnnnnn.... thhhhhhh...att...... H... urrrrrr... tttaaahhhh.....
its back to blogging speed as usual. as you can see theres a new layout. it took me forever and a lifetime to settle on a clean design thanks to mark. but i hope everyone likes it.
check this out. you know how all chinks look alike? well now you can test your skills. AllLookSame.com. wow I got a 4 out of 12. "report card: very bad - Obviously you can't tell the difference." i suck so bad. i guess i'm not into asian guessing game. Come to think about it, i probably will have a lower score than someone who isnt asian at all. too bad they didnt have filipinos in there. that must mean we're "unique". hahaha. damn chinks all look alike.
i was at dunkin' doughnuts this morning trying to pay for my usual. Today I only had a hundred dollar bill and they refused it. WTF? why? Because they just recieved a counterfit. Is that my fault? Don't you check it with that marker thingy. Anyways the manager was kind enough to say that I can pay for it tomorrow. That's fine. But inside I feel bad that my money wasnt good enough to be received. It's the same feeling you get when a donkey kicks you in the nuts. *ZoinkS* ouch....I haven't witnessed it but I've seen mpegs for it. Seems like it would suck. I wonder what the first feeling is. So, I compiled a list of the top 10 things I'd think if i were kicked in the *zOinks* by a donkey. [in no particular order]
1. Oh my god. I think my testicle just ruptured. dammit.
2. Damn. Is that my nut sack or my throat?
3. oh. that hurts so good.
4. why me. why meee!
5. Funkin' donkey. he's gonna get it. i swear. [right after i find my balls]
6. wew. at least he didnt get the left one.
7. doh!
8. Did an ass just kick my ass?
9. fuckinsonofbithmuthafuckernutbitchtrickhoemuthasucka.
10. damnnnnnnnnnnn.... thhhhhhh...att...... H... urrrrrr... tttaaahhhh.....
8.19.2001
FIGHTforCause.org
So I was reading up on the usual circle of blogs that I've come to love recently and one page that I can't help to go back to is littleyellowdifferent.com. It's a great blog site to come back to because its always funny and updated. (updates are always fun because its new, and it gives me more incentive to make my page shiney and new also). Anyways theres been a whole thing about Ernie being laid off as part of big dotcom shutdown. Ernie-Aid has really taken off with donations anywhere from $2 - $300. WOW. Makes me feel that there really is a community of people on the internet that connect with each other enough to donate to a cause. A cause maybe not to feed a starving child but one that might help in his time of need. That's what its all about. Hopefully one day I'll have a cult following like that and have people donate a couple lesbians to keep me entertained. For only $20 a day, you too can help this 21 year old get on his feet and spend his money on foolish things like DV camcorder and dance dance revolution dance pads.
Mark has found a way to make a comments seciton for that page. Awesomfabulous. Now I can read what everyone has to say about my page without a wierd guestbook. We're also looking into making a dual blog layout for all those who'd like to read both our blog simutaneously. WHY? i have no clue but "it seemed like a good idea at the time." Check out my bother's site. Its better than chitlins. HTMLism.com/mark
So I was reading up on the usual circle of blogs that I've come to love recently and one page that I can't help to go back to is littleyellowdifferent.com. It's a great blog site to come back to because its always funny and updated. (updates are always fun because its new, and it gives me more incentive to make my page shiney and new also). Anyways theres been a whole thing about Ernie being laid off as part of big dotcom shutdown. Ernie-Aid has really taken off with donations anywhere from $2 - $300. WOW. Makes me feel that there really is a community of people on the internet that connect with each other enough to donate to a cause. A cause maybe not to feed a starving child but one that might help in his time of need. That's what its all about. Hopefully one day I'll have a cult following like that and have people donate a couple lesbians to keep me entertained. For only $20 a day, you too can help this 21 year old get on his feet and spend his money on foolish things like DV camcorder and dance dance revolution dance pads.
Mark has found a way to make a comments seciton for that page. Awesomfabulous. Now I can read what everyone has to say about my page without a wierd guestbook. We're also looking into making a dual blog layout for all those who'd like to read both our blog simutaneously. WHY? i have no clue but "it seemed like a good idea at the time." Check out my bother's site. Its better than chitlins. HTMLism.com/mark
8.17.2001
SurvivorTHISmuthasucka.edu
Oh my god. It's SurvivorBlog1 vs. SurvivorBlog2. I'm kinda new at this whole ring. So I guess I'll start today. Check them out as they battle on the blog to see who is the most off their rocker. Goddamn I must be bored folks. Inspire me oh great internet. Inspire me. [http://www.hr-nightmare.com/psb2/versus.php]
Oh my god. It's SurvivorBlog1 vs. SurvivorBlog2. I'm kinda new at this whole ring. So I guess I'll start today. Check them out as they battle on the blog to see who is the most off their rocker. Goddamn I must be bored folks. Inspire me oh great internet. Inspire me. [http://www.hr-nightmare.com/psb2/versus.php]
funnyHAHA.com
First off, I was reading this blog and it happened to be pretty funny. [http://www.kevinrquan.blogspot.com/] He was explaining how the next hurricane which comes across us will be called Chantel. Sounds like someone down at the weather service got "da hook ups". He continues on to say that is the ghetto-est name he's hear since Shanaynay from the TV show MARTIN. HAHA. "oh mah gooooooooodness. Okie?. Ol'rah?" I can just imagine the conversation that went on into choosing the new name.
Lady A: Oh mah god. GUUUuurrrrL.
Lady B: Wha ha-pen mami. Que pasa chiquita.
Lady A: You know dem weather thingys dat we see on TV, RAH? Like hurricane Andrew and other junks.
Lady B: rah. rah. wha-about-dem?
Lady A: Cause remember rah, when we was at that club... da one where you hooked up with that puta you call your man.... well anyways, member Willie? You know, da papichulo who wanted to sex me but den I said no cause I just got my extensions in. Yeah. He said he loves me and junk and he gonna name a weather system pattern or whateva after me. Cause das his job and all that. See? I told you he ain't no trifflin' ass and he got the hook-ups..
Lady B: Aye dios mio. Are you for-serious? You so lucky mami. It must be your birthday. Go Chantel, Go Chantel, its your birthday, its your birthday.....
HAHA. Oh man. That's the way the conversation went. I swear. The second thing I wanted you to see was a site which happens to be (or was) the Blogger of the week. it featues all the wierd and wondeful things that happen to be avaible for auction. [http://www.whowouldbuythat.com/] There is some crazy ish out there. Maybe I would buy it?
First off, I was reading this blog and it happened to be pretty funny. [http://www.kevinrquan.blogspot.com/] He was explaining how the next hurricane which comes across us will be called Chantel. Sounds like someone down at the weather service got "da hook ups". He continues on to say that is the ghetto-est name he's hear since Shanaynay from the TV show MARTIN. HAHA. "oh mah gooooooooodness. Okie?. Ol'rah?" I can just imagine the conversation that went on into choosing the new name.
Lady A: Oh mah god. GUUUuurrrrL.
Lady B: Wha ha-pen mami. Que pasa chiquita.
Lady A: You know dem weather thingys dat we see on TV, RAH? Like hurricane Andrew and other junks.
Lady B: rah. rah. wha-about-dem?
Lady A: Cause remember rah, when we was at that club... da one where you hooked up with that puta you call your man.... well anyways, member Willie? You know, da papichulo who wanted to sex me but den I said no cause I just got my extensions in. Yeah. He said he loves me and junk and he gonna name a weather system pattern or whateva after me. Cause das his job and all that. See? I told you he ain't no trifflin' ass and he got the hook-ups..
Lady B: Aye dios mio. Are you for-serious? You so lucky mami. It must be your birthday. Go Chantel, Go Chantel, its your birthday, its your birthday.....
HAHA. Oh man. That's the way the conversation went. I swear. The second thing I wanted you to see was a site which happens to be (or was) the Blogger of the week. it featues all the wierd and wondeful things that happen to be avaible for auction. [http://www.whowouldbuythat.com/] There is some crazy ish out there. Maybe I would buy it?
8.15.2001
iwishimay.edu
Is it just me or do all "elite" blogger people have an Amazon.com wishlist. Geez. I need one of these. So that all my people can buy me all kool things that I would actually respect and treasure for 2 days. (Average "I'm interested in it" life expectancy for all new toys and games)
I hope to get a new look for this site up and running by the weekend if at all possible. Because I'm blog-pressured into getting a new look. Not that blogger.com didn't serve me well in its templates, its just that now it's time to unleash the fury that is.... Mongo con Queso. I'd like to thank Blogger for doing justice to world and providing to internet-aholics, like me, a free healthy addiction of writing every bit of thought in my brain down to HTML. Thank you blogger for alienating me from friends and family. Good thing I have blogger to keep me away from productive things and also the sun. "ahHh ... the sunlight ... I'm melting ... I'm melting.."
Is it just me or do all "elite" blogger people have an Amazon.com wishlist. Geez. I need one of these. So that all my people can buy me all kool things that I would actually respect and treasure for 2 days. (Average "I'm interested in it" life expectancy for all new toys and games)
I hope to get a new look for this site up and running by the weekend if at all possible. Because I'm blog-pressured into getting a new look. Not that blogger.com didn't serve me well in its templates, its just that now it's time to unleash the fury that is.... Mongo con Queso. I'd like to thank Blogger for doing justice to world and providing to internet-aholics, like me, a free healthy addiction of writing every bit of thought in my brain down to HTML. Thank you blogger for alienating me from friends and family. Good thing I have blogger to keep me away from productive things and also the sun. "ahHh ... the sunlight ... I'm melting ... I'm melting.."
Diary-Ah.net
(Side note: My physics teacher in high school used to claim that studying Physics is like mental masturbation. ) So anyways on the way to work today I was listening to Z100 as usual and there was a girl who called the morning show tell her sad story of how her mother read her diary. Sad to say at the least, but what do you expect? I shouldn't say that, I mean, what would happen if this Blog ever got into the evil hands of the rents? What would they say? "John, what the hell is that." or maybe "John, ano yan ... is dat porno-gra-pics." (sorry for the spelling, its a Filipino accent) Maybe. Maybe not. I think if anything, Kayah (my dog) would run into this site faster than my parents would. My father doesn't really surf the web for anything usually just gets the stuff he needs and off. Kinda like subjecting your hand into an open flame. 1.2.3.ouchdammit-tang-e-na. And my mom surfs kinda. Stocks sometimes and other goodies she can think of, but somehow insists that her internet was faster when we were using dial-up rather than the cable model we have now. Sorry mom, I still love yah. So back to the topic at hand, the girl. She was upset that her mother now knows that shes hooked up plenty of times and that she gets drunk ever now and then. Interesting. She might have been safer with a blog. Well not really. All bloggers are kinda creepy, just in the fact that they read into peoples lives and how they express themselves on the internet. Webcams. Blogs. Pics. Where does it all end. Don't get me wrong. I read my dailys and try to keep up with people's blogs. I guess I'm just and wierd-o too ...just like you.
Today at work was pretty uneventful. Until I got called into my dad's office. Why? He wanted to tell me a few things and that I should always keep busy at work. I wondered about that for a while. I wonder if work should be given to me or if I have to go out and find some work to do myself. Maybe its a thin line between both. Keep busy and always appear to be working. I guess thats how I see it. But I guess if I want to get anywhere in this company, I should go find some work. Nah. I'll do that later.
Mission: To make this website damn popular. So popular that I need a comments section. By January 1st 2002, I shall have the name of HTMLism.com written of the tongues of the many, many internet users throughout the world. (Sidenote: I wonder if this is a conflict of interest. Making a website for the sole purpose of being popular. Its kinda like, selling out I guess. If I wanted to do that, this would be a porn site.) So without hesitation, Link ME NOW!!!
(Side note: My physics teacher in high school used to claim that studying Physics is like mental masturbation. ) So anyways on the way to work today I was listening to Z100 as usual and there was a girl who called the morning show tell her sad story of how her mother read her diary. Sad to say at the least, but what do you expect? I shouldn't say that, I mean, what would happen if this Blog ever got into the evil hands of the rents? What would they say? "John, what the hell is that." or maybe "John, ano yan ... is dat porno-gra-pics." (sorry for the spelling, its a Filipino accent) Maybe. Maybe not. I think if anything, Kayah (my dog) would run into this site faster than my parents would. My father doesn't really surf the web for anything usually just gets the stuff he needs and off. Kinda like subjecting your hand into an open flame. 1.2.3.ouchdammit-tang-e-na. And my mom surfs kinda. Stocks sometimes and other goodies she can think of, but somehow insists that her internet was faster when we were using dial-up rather than the cable model we have now. Sorry mom, I still love yah. So back to the topic at hand, the girl. She was upset that her mother now knows that shes hooked up plenty of times and that she gets drunk ever now and then. Interesting. She might have been safer with a blog. Well not really. All bloggers are kinda creepy, just in the fact that they read into peoples lives and how they express themselves on the internet. Webcams. Blogs. Pics. Where does it all end. Don't get me wrong. I read my dailys and try to keep up with people's blogs. I guess I'm just and wierd-o too ...just like you.
Today at work was pretty uneventful. Until I got called into my dad's office. Why? He wanted to tell me a few things and that I should always keep busy at work. I wondered about that for a while. I wonder if work should be given to me or if I have to go out and find some work to do myself. Maybe its a thin line between both. Keep busy and always appear to be working. I guess thats how I see it. But I guess if I want to get anywhere in this company, I should go find some work. Nah. I'll do that later.
Mission: To make this website damn popular. So popular that I need a comments section. By January 1st 2002, I shall have the name of HTMLism.com written of the tongues of the many, many internet users throughout the world. (Sidenote: I wonder if this is a conflict of interest. Making a website for the sole purpose of being popular. Its kinda like, selling out I guess. If I wanted to do that, this would be a porn site.) So without hesitation, Link ME NOW!!!
8.14.2001
FullmetalJacketisF'inawesome.edu - thanks to a blog at www.ktheory.com, i recall one of the greatest movies I've ever seen & owned.
HereÕs a quote from KubrickÕs Full Metal Jacket:
COLONEL: Marine, what is that button on your body armor?
JOKER A peace symbol, sir.
COLONEL: What is that you've got written on your helmet?
JOKER: "Born to Kill," sir.
COLONEL: You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?!
JOKER: No, sir.
COLONEL: You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you!
JOKER: Yes, sir.
COLONEL: Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.
JOKER: I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.
COLONEL: The what?
JOKER: The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
COLONEL: Whose side are you on, son?
awesome. I love that damn movie. After work I'm going to play it. Either that or design me a new weblog template. Fall 2001 edition!!! oooo ... ahhhh ....
HereÕs a quote from KubrickÕs Full Metal Jacket:
COLONEL: Marine, what is that button on your body armor?
JOKER A peace symbol, sir.
COLONEL: What is that you've got written on your helmet?
JOKER: "Born to Kill," sir.
COLONEL: You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?!
JOKER: No, sir.
COLONEL: You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you!
JOKER: Yes, sir.
COLONEL: Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.
JOKER: I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.
COLONEL: The what?
JOKER: The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
COLONEL: Whose side are you on, son?
awesome. I love that damn movie. After work I'm going to play it. Either that or design me a new weblog template. Fall 2001 edition!!! oooo ... ahhhh ....
Californicationizms.net - I'm Back!!! I'm back from my super tour of "part" of California. Very mountainous. Who knew. Well anyways, theres alot to be said about the whole state. For now I'm just going to talk about one day out of many (a whole week). So the day was Tuesday I believe (not sure actually because I loose all time and dimension during vacation). We decide to visit Yosemite National Park. Wow yay another park probably similar to Yellowstone but not. Anyways we spend time driving and driving and driving some more, passing mountains and trees and all that other natural goodness. To make a long story longer. Just after having lunch and feeding the wildlife my chocolate chip cookie (the damn squirrel took the entire cookie) I decided to make an exit to "El Bano" (thats not Ba-no ... its Ban-yo... but I'm too lazy to figure out the "en-yah") Anyways, I thought it might be the regular trip to El Bano but i was wrong. Once I fumbled my way towards it, like any other of the hundreds of tourists, I found a man standing inside doing the "pee-pee dance". um Okie? So inside in front of me was the following:
A. a stall (occupied of course by some guy ... probably suffering constipation from camping)
B. Just in front and to the left of the stall ... the man doing the pee-pee dance. Suffering from diarreah maybe?
C. Along the left wall - two stand up pee-pee stalls .... my aim of course because I'd hate to take a crap in a place like this.
D. Just in front of one of the pee-pee stalls is a grey garbage can, the one with a dome top and a swivel trap door ... we've all seen them.
E. Along the wall I just entered from, two sinks with the usual.... mirror, soap, air dryer, paper towel dispensor.
Why is this all important? Because it gives you the feel of the room. So anyways, I dodge the man doing the pee-pee dance. Obviously waiting for the man with constipation. I'm not sure if they were traveling together, but it looks like the other dude in the stall better hurry before the pee-pee dance gets to be violent. I jet to the stand up stall and relieve myself of any fluids I might have been holding during our long drive. So i finish up making sure not to touch any part of the stand ... in fear that I might get an STD. Anyways thank god for IR autoflushing. So I make a path to the sink to wash my hands and to freshen up. (damn Cali can get hot) Dodging the man doin the pee-pee dance. About this time he was pacing and sweating. So I really had to juke the man just to make it to the sink. God only knows why this man is so impatient. So as I finish up at the sink I look up into the mirror and see the following (the following portion of the story happens within 30 seconds..... it has been simplified, please use above description to translate).....
So B* is unpatient and is getting very frustrated at A* for taking so damn long...... B* gets desperate and uses desperate measures...... B* gets franktic and turns around and grabs D*...... While grabbing D* with one hand, the other hands swipes off the dome lid so hard it hits C*....... B* then rips pants down in a fury and hovers ass over lidless D*....... B* dumps out diaretic sounding load into D* (you know, like that scene in "There's something about Mary") .... With one leg in the air hovering ass over D*..... B* sighs out of relief from his terrible pain, still angry at A* for taking so damn long..... a voice from A* says, "Dude, that sucks...." .... I walk away from E* and make out the door, laughing as I hear the door close behind me ....
That's my story. Don't believe me? well its all true. That's the highlight of my adventure in Yosemite on my California trip.
A. a stall (occupied of course by some guy ... probably suffering constipation from camping)
B. Just in front and to the left of the stall ... the man doing the pee-pee dance. Suffering from diarreah maybe?
C. Along the left wall - two stand up pee-pee stalls .... my aim of course because I'd hate to take a crap in a place like this.
D. Just in front of one of the pee-pee stalls is a grey garbage can, the one with a dome top and a swivel trap door ... we've all seen them.
E. Along the wall I just entered from, two sinks with the usual.... mirror, soap, air dryer, paper towel dispensor.
Why is this all important? Because it gives you the feel of the room. So anyways, I dodge the man doing the pee-pee dance. Obviously waiting for the man with constipation. I'm not sure if they were traveling together, but it looks like the other dude in the stall better hurry before the pee-pee dance gets to be violent. I jet to the stand up stall and relieve myself of any fluids I might have been holding during our long drive. So i finish up making sure not to touch any part of the stand ... in fear that I might get an STD. Anyways thank god for IR autoflushing. So I make a path to the sink to wash my hands and to freshen up. (damn Cali can get hot) Dodging the man doin the pee-pee dance. About this time he was pacing and sweating. So I really had to juke the man just to make it to the sink. God only knows why this man is so impatient. So as I finish up at the sink I look up into the mirror and see the following (the following portion of the story happens within 30 seconds..... it has been simplified, please use above description to translate).....
So B* is unpatient and is getting very frustrated at A* for taking so damn long...... B* gets desperate and uses desperate measures...... B* gets franktic and turns around and grabs D*...... While grabbing D* with one hand, the other hands swipes off the dome lid so hard it hits C*....... B* then rips pants down in a fury and hovers ass over lidless D*....... B* dumps out diaretic sounding load into D* (you know, like that scene in "There's something about Mary") .... With one leg in the air hovering ass over D*..... B* sighs out of relief from his terrible pain, still angry at A* for taking so damn long..... a voice from A* says, "Dude, that sucks...." .... I walk away from E* and make out the door, laughing as I hear the door close behind me ....
That's my story. Don't believe me? well its all true. That's the highlight of my adventure in Yosemite on my California trip.
8.3.2001
DoggieTrouble.edu - So today turns out to be the last day before vacation. .. WOoHoo Cali. Anyways my only grip about the whole trip is the "Boomshekah". She seems to be indefferent about the whole thing, being the dog that she is. Where does she stay? A really long while at the Poodle Chateau or with my relatives. Choices choices choices. On side A, being with the relatives is great, they have a doggie (horny most of the time I think) and they have a nice yard (fenced in of course .... no one can contain "the beast") but on the flipside. This means doggie stting for me and the rest of the people who live in my house (oh yea ... my family). Is that proper? I mean, I scratch your back , you scratch mine type of thing? In a way I hope not, but in another I wouldn't mind. My mother has alot to say about leaving the dog with someone who will in turn eventually leave a doggie with us. She's the one who puts up with Kayah's hyginks while I'm out wondering about. On side B, we have the professional doggie sitter / boarder who will most likely not give two shiets about the dog because they deal with so many in their business. With them I'll be paying the whopping sum of $13-17 a night. Sound litte? I doubt it ... times nine nights. Thats alot. The complicated issue about all of this is the timing. We arrive too late to pick up Kayah from the Poodle place on Saturday. And they ain't open for business on Sunday. So i have to pay for those nights into Monday. Whutdafuckisallthatabout??? So what do I do? I'm not quite sure, probably roll with relatives because everyone but me insists that we have Kayah back in the house on Saturday Night. dammit Kayah ... who's your daddy ....
8.1.2001
Homepagerriffic.com - Everyone decides to get a webpage now. Its the Hip-thang-to-do-moment type stuff. Something to call their own and something to share with everyone else in the enitre world. Whether you like it or not, I'm going to share everything about my daily life because you, the reader, are addicted to what ever I say next. I'm going to shout to the entire world how fucked up it is and how everyone treats me bad. I'm going to tell everyone in the entire world how the sex life is at home and then turn around and admit that I'm cheating. Who would figure that my significant other would have the ability to read yet alone SEARCH for my name in google, yahoo, altavista.... dot dot dot com org slash tilda period quotient to the next power. I'm going to tell the world how fashionable I am and design my homepage how I like my Gucci bags. Cheap looking but expensive. I'm going to tell how my next door neighbor is a slut and how I'd like to bang her but I can't stand that thing under her nose..... whutsitcalledagain? oh yea ... her mouth and everything superficial that comes out of its orafice. Asphinctersayswhat? I'm going to tell everyone how boring my life is and that I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich today and that was my only accomplishment. I'm going to keep it real and tell everyone my racist views and tell everyone how ignorant I am for thinking these thoughts. WHATyouSayChinkBoy..... Chingwha???? I'm going to lead everyone on and tell my most intimate thoughts and how I lust after it and need it and want to sex it and lick it and love it and stroke it ..... but the damn sheep just dont keep still... I'm going to tell you that its all a lie and that I'm stuck in some sort of Matrix. ALL THIS ...... and I'll do it all again one minute later .... don't yah just love homepage bloggers?
DonkeyDung.org - So the countdown begins, just three small days till I'm on my way to Cali. Reminds me of that Biggie song, "I'm going going back back to Cali Cali." So anyways today went so fast I dodged the donkey. Dodge the donkey? Yes that's right. The donkey that comes around everyday and kicks me in the nuts while I'm bored at work. Where do you work... on a farm? No you ass... The"donkey" represents my ability to pospone everything to the last minute... work, homework, projects, registerring for classes, peeing? Well anyways, the "donkey" of national oppression holds me down and keeps the main man in chains. Chains I tell you!!! Or is it me just being way too sarcastic at this early hour of the morning. At this time the "donkey" sleeps and awaits my every move, just waiting to jump out and knock one of the twins up inside me. OUCH** that one's gonna leave a mark. So today was highly productive. Keep away donkey or you'll be saying your HEE HAWS in heaven after I BUSS a CAP in YAH!!! BUYAH muthafucka!!!! Hee Haw Hee Hawww... dammit ... it just won't DIEEEE.
