Okie not for the fact that J.Lo has a nice ass but for the fact that the other guy is checking her out right in front of J.Lo's new hubby. Bad boy. Bad bad boy.

R/C = Fun
Today, I decided to go off and purchase a remote controlled car. I've been having an itch to get one ever since my dad gave away my monster truck. Wierd huh? Anyways, the truck wasn't a "hobbiest" truck but rather one for a novice. So I did some research in the past few days and narrowed down my choice. I wanted a car for the street and I wanted it in gas power [or Nitro as they say].

So I went off to see what the fuss was all about and proceed to shop for a nitro sedan to fill my materialistic void. I went to the store and found out the price range for these bad boys. After chatting with the owner, it was clear that I might have to wait on the purchase until I can raise enough money. I mean, If I'm going to dump some money, it might as well be on some thing good. He also made it clear that electric R/C were for wussies. Well not really, I'm just exaggerating.

Almost out of the store, when something caught my eye. A smaller version of the nitro cars!! Interchanable and semi upgradable, changable body, interchangable rims and tires, shocks, and standard R/C control!! Awesome! If only they have the Skyline in stock.... oh wait... here it is! Fast forward 1 hour later............ I'm laughing my ass off as Kayah runs away in terror. As the car speeds away from her, she chases it around the driveway, barking and pawing to attack the small thing. If anyone is interested in this stuff and they've got about $100 lying around, I recommend it. Its also small enough to fit in the palm of your hand.

Mini Z Racer By Kyosho - Nissan Skyline GT-R V Spec [read more]

[+] Remind me to never get in a fight with a woman in Uganda. I like my balls just fine, thank you very much.

[+] Doesn't get any cooler than a virtual keyboard. I wonder if it works like the little scanner at the super market where if you look down at the glass, its tells you not to stare at the laser.

"Oh my god my eye, I think I've lost sight on the left side .... but ... this keyboard is freakin amazing"
- New VR Keyboard user.

Work
I've to realize that work comes in waves. One minute I'm sitting here looking up porn editing my webpage and the next minute I'm swamped with hundreds of projects that everyone wants it done by yesterday. What the hell? Why can't you just distribute the work evenly or something.

On the other side of the universe, I was at Dunkin Doughnuts this morning and I saw this guy on line. His entire brow gave the impression that he was about to kill someone or you just made fun of his mother. It might have been his age or the way its face was built but this guy looked like one mean old spanish guy. Then I thought to myself, when mean looking people smile, does it make them look more psychotic? Or does it make him look like a happy person?

First Day of Spring. YAY sorta.

Dense
Ever have that one classmate that just doesn't seem to catch on? Not only that, is really annoying with their questions? Almost piercing my skull with non-sense and enigmas unrelated to the task at hand... Why? Why is it so hard to understand? The reason your in the class is to learn. Now learn please learn and save the whining for your children or something.

I've done alot to HIGH5 and I'm planning to do more. Hopefully everyone will post frequently instead of posting that first one to "please john". This isn't for my benefit folks, its all for you. [Well, actually it sorta is in my benefit because im going to be graded on it] Anyways, everyone write. Write your life story for all I care.

p.s. If you want to join the Verbal Orgy, contact me and we'll get you in the mix.

Snowflake
Why is it snowing when just the other day everyone was wearing shorts? Wierd.

Well it's come down to a few signatures, moving is 90% at the moment. All thats left is finding a bank for the mortgage and then we're all set. It will be weeks and weeks of picking out tile and carpets to match the house. I didn't know there was so many options in building a house. Actually I knew, But never paid too much attention to it.

We reviewed the area once again, and found that it wasn't too bad as far as the shopping is concerned. Yeah, who cares about that house? Where's the nearest mall?

[+] Mommy, can I have one for Christmas?

heat
Let the record show, that if I die today, its because its FREEEAKin' blazing hot in this office. Is it because five people are currently residing here? Or could it be the six computers and seven monitors? What ever the case may be, the heat is destroying the few brain cells that I have left. Add on to the fact that there is construction going on behind the wall in my cubicle. Geez, I love this new office. Its so, so........ so roomy?

I was thinking they should build a portable window that you can open anywhere. Being that I am indoors and don't even catch one spec of the outside world, the portable window would be perfect. I would hang it up on my wall and open it to let some air come through. Then when its time to use the bathroom, all I have to do is place my portable window on the ground to piss in it. How convenient!

Wait. Lets not get started on pissing out of windows, especially moving car windows ... hahah. *ehem * ehem* who shall remain nameless.

In the words of my fellow filipino co-worker, "It's like de hell, are working in de hell."

Kind
I heard some kind words about Johncanlas Dot Com yesterday from some of my best friends. They all seemed to dig the page and everything it stands for. I have yet to post my political platform or my idealism that will take over the world, but soon enough I shall. The best comment was, "I read your webpage alot, its got alot of reading stuff.... "

I'm glad that you, the reader, appreciate the time and effort it takes to make such a aimless page. It's great to see that my initial count of 2 readers has risen to about 8. Isn't that a 400% increase in readers? Wow, I'm freakin' good. Well I hope to bring more excitement as I step into a new chapter in my life, moving from the civilization of Bergenfield to the boondox of Monroe Township.

I'm trying to justify why I feel so wierd about moving, but I can't place a finger on it. Ever try to catch a squirrel? Well my answer lies in the acorn which resides in the squirrel's mouth. While the average person may chase the squirrel around the yard until it is lost up a tree, I plan to use the Kory approach, also known as the K-Factor. What's the K-Factor approach, John? Good thing you asked my friend. Kory is the name of a really good friend of mine who was basically a roommate of mine, in another lifetime. His approach to life was simple and could mainly be condensed into two phrases.

"Why pay for it, when you can just download it for free."

"Sniping isn't cheating, its part of the game, you pussy."

The man is a walking religious shrine filled with knowledge beyond our own comprehension. So how do these two life creeds apply to the situation? Well you see, the information I seek isn't something that you can just buy or pay someone to tell you. The answer is right in front of me, waiting to be found. Like the internet, there is an endless supply of knowledge in the world, but first you must find the right "proggy" that will get you to it. The "proggy" in this case, is the knowledge of " self ". How can you know anything about the world if you don't even know yourself. As I dig deeper into my reasons and fears of moving, the answer will slowly show itself.

The second "frase misteriosa de la vida" embraces all the opportunities of life. See, most people would consider "sniping" and "camping" as cheating or cheap. Kory, on the otherhand, understood that it was a feature of the game and should be used to its greatest potential, no matter how boring the game will become for everyone else. This parallels that idea that life has a great number of opportunities, each with its own ideals. If we can come to understand these opportunties as they arise, we can be aware of its presence and use it to elevate our life's potential without care or concern of what others may think.

How does this all relate to the rambunctious squirrel? Well, my opportunity to move is just one example of how I can shape my life into something better, something greater. Realizing these situations are what enables us to look through the scope of life in order to place the target on any given obsticle or enemy. Executing these phrases, drive the bullet out of the chamber and into our target. The death of our enemy and all that it carries, in this case an acorn, is birth of our hidden answer. The answer that will change us for the better. The answer that I've be yearning for.

The squirrel will die, and the answer shall reveal itself, the K-Factor way.

FACE
Not doing anything for the next few minutes? Play with the face maker. I feel like a police sketch artist.

"Excuse me, have you seen this boy?" -T2000

In other news, Britney Spears was in the process of filming a TV ad when she was bombed with buckets of urine by angry neighbors. They might have been "pissed" over the fact that she was singing the same song over and over again in front of huge search lights. This story is just too funny. Not for the fact that these people had enough balls to take buckets of urine and throw it at a megasuperstar, but for the simple fact that they all had to gather buckets of urine to do so. That in itself is a daunting task for anyone. "WE NEED MORE PISS.... quick mom, drink this whole gallon of water! " [read more]

Today time is moving is slow motion. I can't wait to get out of work so that I can sleep some more. What I am proud of today, is the length of the email I sent to Joy. That should take you a good long time to ingest. It feels like a million dollars when you get to write down your feelings somewhere. Maybe one day should have one of those webpage things and record my thoughts there. Yea. That's the ticket. I also have the perfect name for it also, www john canlas dot com....

Ninja
"Mortal Kombat" producer Larry Kasanoff has bought all remake rights to the Japanese 1994 anime blockbuster "Ninja Scroll" with the intention of turning it into an f/x-driven live-action feature that will spawn television, live stage tours, video games and music. [read more]

Popeye's Chicken Adventure
As John and his mother walk towards the doors, they try to figure out how much chicken they will need for tonight.

John: "Maybe the 12 piece?"
Mom: "Yea, the 12 piece will be fine. Hey there's a sale on it for $11.99."
John: "That should be fine."
Popeye Bitch: "Hi."
John: "Hi, can I get the 12 piece chicken to go please?"
Popeye Bitch: "Sure."

Now for some reason the total came out to around $14....

John: "Isn't the 12 piece on sale for $11.99 or something?"
Popeye Bitch: "WELL... you HAVE to say SPECIAL ... if you don't say The SPECIAL.. then I'm just gonna press the 12 piece"
John: "Oh. SORRY!"

I'm sorry your so god dammn stupid. That's probably why your fat ass is still working at a chicken place, you dumb slut. I'll have the special, a special FUCK YOU and that big dump truck you call your butt! DUMB. Your Dumb. You need to be hit. I should have grabbed you by your nasty chicken greese shirt and thrown you into the cajun fries vat. Screw YOU. Use your brain for once instead of smoking that stuff you do.

Blog....g... er - I declare Blogger.com official FUNKED up today. Maybe its because of all the upgrades. I feel sorry for all those who are paying for Blogger Pro right about now.

Coke?
As I write this, I consume my second can of Coke today. Why am i drinking this stuff so much? It's because of this 9 to 5 thing. Its making me sleepy and tired. How can people do this for 30+ years? Its just amazing to me. Good thing I'm striving to become a starving artist. At least I won't have to work 9 to 5 everyday.

Coca-Cola
Very Low Sodium, 35mg
Or less per 240ml (8fl. oz)
Nutritional Facts
serv. Size 1 can
Amount Per Serving
Calories 140
% daily value
Total Fat 0g 0%
Sodium 50mg 2%
Total Carb 39g 13%
Sugas 39g
Protein 0g
* Percent Daily values are
based on a 2,000 calorie diet

email - Here's an excerpt from an email I wrote to a friend, about Kayah Boomshekah aka La Bandita Blanca

Kayah, the bitch that rules the world, got her own house. She recently found independence from being an inhouse doggie to an outside doggie. She we thought it might be nice to actually buy the house I've been planning for her for a long time. I didn't get the Igloo house that I thought might look cute because she's white, rather I settled on the smaller conventional one. I thought maybe she wasn't going to like her house but she seems to dig it alot. Almost too much. She feels like going inside the house cramps her style and insists after 5 mins to return to the great outdoors and bark her non-sense to passerbyers. I guess she's all grown up. She will be 2 years old soon.

I hope that was both useless and informative to you, the viewing audience.

Moving
Moving away from something isn't a great experience all together. This week, I have to move out of my comfortable office into another bigger office with other people in it. Now while I don't have a problem with the other people, it does annoy me that I will have to put up with the usual "people" annoyances. To add to that, I'm the only one who has to move their own crap. Everyone else isnt that technologically efficient.

While we're on the subject, my parents are considering a property near Rutgers New Brunswick, a small town named Monroe. The house plans seem to be very spacious and the yard will be huge compared to my home now. I think the only hard part will be moving all my crap to the new house. Change is good but no one ever said it would be easy. I think the biggest thing I will miss is the shopping in Paramus. My mother and I share the same brain, there's no GSP down in central Jersey.... NnoOOOoooo!!!!

WEBCAM IS BACK!!!

FART? - oh my god. this video is mad funny. Although short, its well worth your 30 seconds. Special thanks to Neil for bringing such an enlightening film into my life. HAHA. [Matrix Fart]

You think that's air your breathing?

THANKS JOEL!!

Although MACS do make some "sense", I still prefer my computer to crash in Windows. As for the "REAL" JCanlas, you may have the screen name but who is nerdy enough to own their own DOMAIN name! But thanks for all the computer knowledge and sexual strategies! You da man! Even at St. Francis Prep Class of 1989!

My Room - The internet has come to my bedroom! After months and months, of being lazy, the CAT5 was run through the floor and into the router. Oh JOY! Now my black beast is connected and live to download "videos". Hey maybe I'll put up the webcam and have it actually work. We shall see. The room needs a cleaning and a good vacuming [vacumming?] AS USUAL.

[+] God kills.

[+] Some things I learning while in college.

2Fast - Today I must admit that I drove too fast to work. Note to self: do not accelerate towards a slower vehicle in the right lane in order to pass another accelerating vehicle in the center lane. Swerving in front of cars is bad, very very bad. I also raced a Volvo because he was tailgating. I beat him, just bearly. With that situation in mind, I find that there is only one solution to this speeding problem, slow down or get a faster car.

The other day, I was joking with Mark while he was "attempting" to put up his new Ikea blinds. Yes the same blinds that I purchased earlier. Once we were almost done, this small, yet intriguing, conversation came up.

John: So are you going to blog about this? Your first home improvement adventure?
Mark: Yea I will. It's like I'm on Trading Spaces.
John: I guess. So wait. Do people do things out of the ordinary in their life in order to make for better blog material? Because that would be interesting.
Mark: That is sad. Very very sad.

As Mark ended his last sentence, he grabbed his "Stuff to Blog" notepad and scribled down our conversation. So my question to you is: Does life inspire blogs, or do blogs inspire life. HMMMMMM

[+] Here's a look at some amazing things you can do with a gameboy camera.

[+] HOT link. Too hard to explain. You must see for yourself: The Man Project.

[+] weird? yes it is. Run little egg. RUN!

Road Rage - On my way to work, something began to bother me. A person with a handicapped hangtag was driving faster than I was, even racing me after a toll to get into a lane. Now I, being the calm driver that I am, thought to myself. That really isn't fair to the rest of the people on the road. Not only does this person have a handicapped hangtag [so they get the awesome parking spaces at the mall] but they're driving faster than I am. If people are capable enough to exceed well over the speed limit, then they shouldn't be allowed to have a handicapped hangtag as well. The same goes for anyone driving an exotic sportscar with a handicapped license plate. Next time I see this, I won't hesitate to beat them in until they really need that fake-ass wheel chair to get around.

Nothing against people with handicaps, but you can't have the babingka cake and eat it too.

[+] What happens when an MIT student, a Valentines Teddy Bear, and a GigaFast 5-port 10/100 Ethernet switch are stuck with nothing to do on a Saturday afternoon?

[+] Funny Funny Funny clip from the Man Show and a kid with no shame to sell beer. [thanks Neil]

Bow Down! Kayah the Nilla Queen!
Im writing in my blog because I have nothing better to do with my time. To the left, as you can see, are broken links. Evidence of a lazy-ass designer in the middle of a homepage remodel. Fantastic.

Yesterday was quite a long day filled with class and more class that just wouldn't end. I spent most of the night in class downloading Mp3s and working on a dumb animation. Its deep into the semester already and I have yet to produce a significant project in that animation class. Not like anyone else has anything done, but its just wierd that I haven't accomplished much as far as 2D animation is concerned.

Just before I retired to my room last night, I found myself in the kitchen digging like a mole in a box of Nilla Wafers. I'm not sure what I was digging for but I was drawn to poke around aimlessly inside it. As I picked up a wafer to throw into my "orifice", the label on the box punched me in my eye. "ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED" is what appeared in huge letters across the top of the box. "Artificially Flavored?" The idea kept dancing in my head like a scratched up Michael Jackson record. "ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED" "ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED" "ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED" "ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED" I mean, is that something to be so proud of that it has to take a good portion of the front label? I would consider that fine print material for the label on the underside of box. Reconsidering my options, I thought twice about continuing to consume these Nilla Wafers. After 5 minutes of decifering the ingredients and other nutritional factoids, I realized that I'm over exaggerating. So I ate some more.

As I slowly rolled out of bed this morning, I'm greeted to the sounds of my mother yelling at Kayah. I walked downstairs to see the all the commotionas fast as any sloth would. It seems that Kayah was nice enough to steal my Dell catalog and rip it into thousands of little pieces all across the room. Although not surprising, it upset me in two ways:

Number A: I didn't get the chance to read the entire Dell catalog, which arrived just the other day. Now its destroyed into a million and one pieces dispursed through out the room. Not only did I have to wrestle the beast for the remaining bits in her mouth, but I had to clean and sweep the room too. Kayah was also nice enough to leave some bits of stredded paper in small piles, a virtual timeline of destrction leading from the comuter room carpet to the stairs. Cleaning was not what I had in mind first thing in the morning.

Number B: Black spots riddled the stairway and Kayah's right paw. Being the Jr. Sherlock Holmes that I am, I found more evidence of destruction of beast, this time in the form of a broken pen. While I am concerned for the "bandit's" health, I hope the ink taught her some kind of lesson. So now Kayah has to be groomed as soon as possible. All I have to say is, "A bitch will always be a BITCH".

Nilla Wafers and dog hair come with sauce. SAUCE-MARI-O-SEP!

Flying Car - A funny clip about two guys stuck in traffic, talking about a flying car. I thought this movie was funny and wish there were more episodes. It does bring up some questions about people's materialistic needs. I think I would go with the trade with the mad German scientist with the wierd fetish and bunch of friends... haha. As long as the car has cup holders. [7.5mb Quicktime]