johncanlas.com

So Mark decides that he's too sick to continue school today because of a soar throat. Lucky me, I get to drive my mom all the way back to Bergenfield and drive myself back to work so that she can sign out Mark from school. On my way throw beautiful Hackensack triffic came to a stop because of the Police. Let me describe myself further. I am sitting in the left lane about to cross through the intersection which leads to Route 4. The lane on the right (only 2 lane road) is a right only lane. So everyone comes to a stop as a Police officer makes a wierd U-turn in the middle of intersection. Oh. Its a torch running for New Jersey. Hey that's cool, when are the next Olympics anyways? So some lady in a light blue minivan from the right lane gets impatient and decides to cut to the left as if she's going to make a U-turn in the middle of the road. Being as doub as she is, she doesnt see the cop about to block her from doing her deed. So the cop pulls up in front of her and gives her the "shake shake one finger no no no" action. The runners pass by me with the Olympic torch and the cop moves along side of them. Now the lady is stuck in our lane (perpendicular) and traffic behind her (the right lane) starts to move along.

So as cops leave the scene, the dumb-ass lady decides to throw her minvan in reverse to get back to the right lane. Little does she know, an old gentleman is waiting patiently for cars in front of him to move a along so that he can turn right. The bitch throws the van in reverse without looking behind her and *CRRAACCCK*!!!!! Damages her minvan and the poor old man's car. I couldn't help but laugh at the situation because this lady is a dumbass who doesn't know her ass from her elbow. The sad part was that she didn't even back up slowly as if she we cautious. Nope. She gunned it that 2 feet costing her more damage than just waiting for the cops to drive by.

To the caucasian lady with a blue minivan who doesn't know how to use a rear view mirror, I salute you. You are truly a dumb-ass and you have made my day more exciting.

Witness the power of my super hero. Purple Star Fighter. He's ready for action and ready to fight anywhere in the galaxy 24-7 like a 7-11. He likes long walks on the beach and defeating intergalactic terrorism. An active member of the YMCA and president of the Gay & Lesbian Defenders of the Galaxy League. Super powers include flying and baking a mean cheesecake. Don't get in his way or he'll double team blast you with his twin action guns. You can make your own hero here. [link sponsored by Mockilok]

FRIDAY Good LORD! Thank you. So its Friday. Its such an easy day to say. Yesterday, I had the easiest time in my first quiz in health class. I think the only question I had to hesitate and consider was "Does exercise increase red blood cells? T or F". I answered true-dat but I'm not quite sure. I'll have to look it up once I get home.

Today I get to see the lobster. Too bad I was to tired to go bowling last night. I just read that she scored a 175. Awesome. I cant even remember the last time I scored that high. I do remember a high of 220 or something to that effect.

Sunday is ZOOTOPIA. YAY. I bought these tickets SOO long ago for Joy's Bday. I hope she will enjoy the concert as much as I will. The funny thing was that the tickets were suposed to be a surprise but my MOTHER blew up my spot during dinner one night. [excuse the ghetto filipino spelling]

mom: hoy, ano ung Giants stadium. whats dat. Pootball?
john: Uh, its nothing mom. Some kind of concert.
mom: On da calendar. June 2nd.
john: Yeah. yeah I know. Its a concert I said ... nevermind..
joy: ....
john: [oh boy. cover blown. abort abort.]

Yea. So that's how my mother released my 3 month secret in 5 seconds. Joy felt left out that I didnt inform her of a concert that I might be attending without her. After a few minutes of explaination after dinner, it was all good. Sunday is gonna be off the "chizzle my nizzle"...

Those who will be entertaining me Sunday night........Shakira, P!nk, Marc Anthony, Mary J. Blige, Bon Jovi, Michelle Branch, Celine Dion, P. Diddy, Goo Goo Dolls, Alanis Morissette, Nick & Aaron Carter, Craig David, Vanessa Carlton, Outkast and Fat Joe.

I hope the Nets win already so they don't have to have a Game 7 during Zootopia. The traffic in the Meadowlands would be insane. MAD I tell you. MAD

if anyone watches the Conan O'Brien Show, you'll know about Triumph the insult dog. Here's his adventure during the newest Star Wars opening, making fun of all the poor nerds who dressed up and waited on line forever, just to see Attack of the Clones. Only if I had a storm troopers suit, I would have been there too. [Link yoinked from Jish.nu]

I'd like to thank the ultimate numero uno caballero, Joel Canlas, for helping me decide on a hub for the office. Although I find these shoutouts to be totally unrelated to my plan for world domination, I do what I can to please my audience. Since he periodically reads this website (bringing my total to about 2 readers), this entry is for you.

Ride-em COWBOY!!! YEEEEHHAWWW

so I finally got the apple computer back to the office. Its all plugged in and ready to rock. After a few installations and a few hits to the case, everything seems to be running smoothly. I still hate the fact that its not windows, but I'll get over that. Apples rawk in their own right. Maybe its the entire computer thing thats bad for the soul. Damn the computer. Damn it to hell...... no wait .... lemme check my email first and then damn it to hell.....

I'd like to recap the highlights of my memorial day weekend.

The autococker is sweet like cheese but not without a bunch of problems. Firing with the cocker for the first time, I managed to chop most of my first hopper. After a few double balls and a few more chops, I managed to get the gun shooting out to a target. BUT the balls were flying everywhere but straight. With the occasional direct hit, I can start to see the possibility of greatness with the stock autococker. Later that morning, I found out that one of the screws on the frame were too short, causing my trigger frame to detach itself from the body. Also, the tigger itself has a small boot on it to help relieve your fingers from pulling on the metal slide tigger. I can see myself loosing that small piece, seeing that it isnt attached to much and falls off at the slightest touch. The vertical feed is gay becuase it doesnt use an elbow. Which means, electrical tape must be used to secure the hopper to the gun. Velocity can be adjusted from the gun's internals. Without tools, like I was on Saturday, Adjusting velocity is next to impossible. Let's just say that the rumor about the barrel being a pvc pipe with holes is .... true. In all.... I still love my auto-muthafuckin-problematic-cocker *shutter*shutter*

I managed to help Joy joy beans move into her new dorm at Laurel Hall. It brought back a few memories of my stint at NJIT but thats all in the past. I'm glad she has her dorm for the summer and I'm excited for her new adventures with Miniversity.

I am Joy. I am blonde, chicana, 5'9, atheletic, future scientist, a girl still becoming a woman, brown eyes....

I've heard about it but never had the chance to try it. And all that I've hear about the drink are TRUE. Smirnoff Ice is a Bitch drink...Anythony's bar-b-que was chillen. Burgers off the grill and a Corona make you want to sleep in the sun. A good game of badminton is harder than it looks. Kayah is a runt compared to everyone else's dog. Nothing funnier than people running around barefoot with the hint of danger from hidden dog poop. Sleeping will be the death of me in my relationships.

I happened to finish cleaning my room. I've forgotten that the floor resembled like a blue blowpop color or rather the carpet, I should say. My desk has gone to hell with its meaningless trinkets and overdue bills. The black tower that conquers all and dictates my life, seamingly generates enough heat to warm the sun. Or is it the lamp, reflective like the mirror that greets me in the mornings. Dusty? I'm guessing so. My bet is on the horse that finds my remote control first. Under my bed, beside the chair, under the desk, under a pillow, in the laudry. Its amazing that the room is now cleaner than before, but somehow my things are out of place. Lost somewhere. Changing channels can't be any fun, only serving as an annoyance with a hint of urgency. Damn commercials, wheres the fuckin' remote! Theres nothing like missing your favorite show and watching the credits roll by.

Why is it always so damn cold in my office. Its like the frost kicked my ass and bit it on the way out. I have to wear long sleeves just so that I can type out my senseless blog. Long sleeves that don't actually wear around my wrists because they've been stretched so much from me pulling them up my arm.

Oh why long sleeves why... Why do you treat me like this? I wash you. I wear you. Am I not a good owner? Do I not own like the best of them? Foolish shirt, you know not what you do, yet you torment me so. Ignorant and idiotic, your ways are carefull. You agitate me where I hurt the most. As the shirt on my back, you follow me and I follow you.

Okie. I'm not sure what possesed me to write like that, but I apologize. I'll stick to english.

Last night was easy. Had only one class to go to because the other one was cancelled. I did manage to pay my parking ticket after weeks upon weeks of procrastination. I could have saved myself $10 if I just paid it when it was due. I also found time to pick up the required text books for class. I've forgotten how much you really spend on text which most likely you won't even read. All those art classes have warped my mind.

One funny thing I forgot to mention the other day was that I broke out the "script". No, not any fancy java script or php trick, the actual script writing. I think its been about 2 or 3 years since I've written in script [maybe even longer, who knows]. Within 5 minutes, my hand started cramping and I was having convulsions in class. Well, not really, but it felt like one may have been coming on. Maybe it was the work of the devil that I have forgotten how to write in script. El diablo I tell you.... muy grande DIABLO... aye dios mio..

Jay Jay has approached me with a fine proposition. Why not start a small web based company? Okie fine, so I'm not "L33T" or anything and I'm not "hardcore coding only using text editor" HTML freak and I'm not an HTML Nazi, but I do know this..... I can write run-on sentences. No wait. I mean I'm a budding and still very confused graphic designer. Besides the point, I'm hesitant as well as excited in starting this small venture. I wouldn't call myself a webpage designer just yet, for fear I might be ridiculed by other higher HTML gods, but a brotha has GOT to start somewhere... right?

Last night, I was trying to clean the jungle [aka my bedroom] before my dad throws down another fit. So I was about half way done cleaning when I decided to take a break. I was able to catch the David Blaine Vertigo special, which was simply amazing. Some may call him crazy and a media freak, but I think its all a part of becoming famous. I'm sure Harry Houdini had tons of spectators doubting his ability. Look where he's at now. Well.... actually... he's dead... but dead and FAMOUS. Getting back to the room, I ended up passing out on top of my uncovered matress with a pile of junk which touched my ceiling. When I woke up this morning, the room was not clean, but simply reconfigured with the junk all in one pile. Hey its not the greatest cleaning attempt but, at least I can walk around in it now....

Julius would like to see more of himself on my webpage. Maybe he's narcissistic? Or maybe he gets a kick out of seeing himself on the internet. What ever the case maybe, there you go. Sad? Who knows. He's the filipino one. If you still can't determine which one he is, I'll give you a better hint. Yellow = Asian. With all that said.... nice nipples Jay. Work out alot? Just a little.....

I had the chance to see Star Wars the other day with some friends. I thought the movie was much better than the first one, only because it made more sense. The special effects were great. I loved the story behind Boba and Jengo Fett. Although it was hard to accept that a regular guy was playing the bounty hunter, I felt that was okie. Maybe I was just in need of a creature rather than a human. Maybe something along the lines of The Predator. All I have to say about the rest of movie is look out for Yoda.

Did anyone see the Carson Daly show, Last Call, with guest David Blaine? That guy is still so wierd. He was on the show to promote his new trick, Vertigo. The end of the show featured lowering his pulse and him pulling his heart out while collapsing onto the studio floor. To me it looked like a cheap horror movie effect rather than a magic trick. Reminds me of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I'd rather see him levitate like he has done in the past. KALIMA!!! KALIMA!! hum num she ba ..hum num she ba ..hum num she ba ..

teacher looks at porn during exam. wow [read me]

Space Adventure for sale on Ebay! [read me]

featherless chicken [read me]

awesome. ever wonder what a water balloon would look like in space? check out this link. The one filled with the red dye demostrates the experiment the best. It was captured using high speed film and a ride on the famous "vomit comet". This plane flies to about 8000 ft in the air and does a huge dive creating 25 seconds of low-gravity time. [via Jish.nu]

Ahh. I'm falling and I can't get up..

It seems that sibling rivalry never ends. This is a dedicationg to my favorite cousin named Joel. Joel Canlas that is.....

Joel is the coolest brother on the block. Women want to be with him and men want to be him. Who ever said filipinos can't get more ass than an astronaut ...hasn't met Joel.

Joel Canlas... he's one BAD mutha.... shut your mouth ..... you DIG?

Jay decides that making webpages is fun. I think he might start up his own little company which should bring in some money on the side for a bum like me. I talked to Mark who stated his interest in doing the grunt coding for an entire site as long as he didn't have to design it. Which is fine by me. I'd much rather design than code anyway. Oh yeah. Here's the stuff that Jay told me to write on the page.

I'd like to dedicate this website to my beloved cousin Julius aka "Asian Delight" Canlas who currently resides in beautiful Lake Mary Florida.

Although he appears to be slow in the picture, he isn't slow at all. What else is there to say...there's only one Jay Jay.

okie. since not everyone has seen this yet... here's the website to find the $20 Origami 9/11 bill fold trick... Its a wierd coinsidence. Especially the twin towers portion. I wonder who had enough time to find out that the $20 bill folds to form these wierd images. Amazing and creepy at the same time. A moment of silence for those who were lost on the longest day 9/11/01 [http://www.allbrevard.net/]

what am i doing? I dont know. I'm sitting here doing nothing but vegetating here at work. Lets go over the schedule for the rest of the day. Come home and clean a little. Call up Paul so we can jet down to Passaic and get the tux fit for his wedding. After that's done, I have a hot date with Joy to go see Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. I hope its HOT-ness, but we shall see later tonight. Hey maybe I'll review it for all two people who read this site.

In other news, Joy has given the green light on a nitro tank kindly donated (bought for $90) from Anthony's paintball liquidation store. She's also interested in purchasing my Spyder. Since she's gone and bought the nitro tank, I can't sell her the CO2 for it. PLUS... the expansion chamber has to come off it because it just lowers the pressure if the gun is running on nitro. SO... I have an expansion chamber as well as a CO2 tank that aren't really going to be used for much ... a nice paper weight perhaps. Anyone interested in making me an offer? Once Joy has given her final blessings to give her the gun, I will purchase the MOST customizable and accurate gun in paintball history. The Autococker!! Muhahaha. Its going to have to run stock for a while because I really can't afford to buy a dope one like the Black Magic or the STO versions. But hey ... its a start.....

I'd like to nominate a particular Chrystler dealership near Somerset, NJ for "Jackasses of the Year". So my father and I drive all the way down there from work [about 40 mins]. Once we're at the service desk to pick up the car, the lady tells us that a service person has to take it out for a test drive to make sure the car is in condition. Sounds like a good thing right? WRONG Why would you have to take the car out for a test drive if it came in for a window repair. [this right here should have given us the signal that this place sucks] So the car comes back from its so called "test drive" and the guy calls my dad over.

Service Man: Sir, the window is all fixed and the regulator has been changed, but there is a slight problem. You can't open the door from the inside. [gets into the car and demonstrates] See?
Dad: Then why did you call me if it isn't fixed yet....
Service Man: I understand sir. Something must have come loose. That's why we test drive the cars before they go home....
Dad: WHY would you test drive the car for a window repair? Your wasting my time .... its a F*ckin' 40 minute ride to this place ... god dammit.... etc. ..etc..
Service Man: .....
Dad: Don't call me till its DONE...

Moral of this story? I'm not quite sure... but those people are jackasses. American Cars RAWK! haha...

if anyone would like a change to their Dunkin Doughnuts day, may I suggest the Vanilla Bean Coolata. I'm having it this morning for breakfast and it tastes real smooth. Its a tad bit on the sweet side, but if you like vanilla.... this is YOUR joint.

I'm stuck in class someone please bail me out....

I have the chance to go to a semi-formal dinner with a bunch of my friends. I'm still debating on going. Its 80 dollars for a couple. Not only that, its happening tomorrow night. Talk about procrastination on my part. Eh... What's wrong with me. I know around this time last year, I'd be dying to have an event like this. It's only 80 dollars. 8 times the price of watching a movie and 1/3 the price of the new paintball gun I want. Prioritize John... prioritize...

The apple computer is still broke down. My father suggested TOLD me to get another computer. Hey how about renting? We need that computer by .... uh ... TWO DAYS AGO... john... Well that solves that. I'm just waiting for those people to get back to me with a quote.

The rain is getting to me, I think. Didn't it rain last Thursday also? I remember pretty well because I had to carry my heavy ass portfolio case around in that thunder storm. Oh well... whats a person to do..

Theres a guy on the Maury Povich show with no face. Im not sure if I should be freaked out or interested in seeing what it really looks like in there.