What's the difference between spending your time and being a social outcast? What's the difference between being loyal and being owned? What's the difference between being left out and knowing your place? What's the difference between enjoying yourself and setting yourself up for dissappointment? What's the difference between faith and blindness? What's the difference between opting anyway and not listening?
Why can't I just enjoy myself... The world will never be satisfied... But isn't that what life is? A huge game of tug-of-war... To not be upset that this is the truth? Sometimes, when I'm aware, I can't handle all that truth in one shot. What happens when someone, any one of Them, or anyone anyone, says no... The world collapses in on itself... Time to cry in the rubble and start over.
Again, I have to ponder... Is it better to climb out of the debris, enjoy the sunlight, and construct a fantastic world, only to be shot down again by the next meteor... Or to curl up in a ball, in the comfort and privacy of the darkness and just not move... The dark's lookin pretty good sometimes. Not so much, not so little. It just is. No one plays tug-of-war in the dark.
It's not fun to think about life like this. But it just happens. Upon rejection. Upon failure. onFailure, onRejection, react().
If you're not okay, I'm not okay. Can't we just be okay, together?
And to any dichotomy we may encounter... Why can't we just be honest. Tell me that you don't want me around. Please, don't give me this illusion that it isn't working out... Sometimes, I'm blindly enjoying myself. But are you still unsatisfied? Is there nothing I can do to "turn that frown, upside down"? That's what's gotta happen, one day. I mean, hopefully it will.
So why can't we all be happy, together... Why can't I be happy in your happiness...
Posted by Mark Canlas at March 9, 2003 02:20 PM