So I have these things that I'm willing to call values, which are prohibitions on my life... Can't engage in certain vices, if you will. But I did tell one very good friend of mine, "Dude, if I was ever to do it, I'd do it for you and only you," where "it" is a given vice. Some people don't give a flip, but I still do.
And so at some later date, we catch up and I tell him of my times and adventures. He says, "So, with all of these opportunities do to it, did you do it yet?" I say no, of course, much to everyone's surprise... I'm true to my word. Or at least I try to be.
But this leads me to think of this other vice which people might not take too kindly in comparison to the other one... So I'm thinking... If I was to ever engage in either, or both, is that because of peer pressure, or is there really some other way around it?
Now, I'd like to defend and say that no one is pressuring me to do anything, except maybe myself. I really don't have any interest in either vice, other than their symblism. So to me, committing to either vice would be homage to our friendship... But I'm afraid now that people might not see it that way.
At this point, some might interject and say, "Hey, don't give a flying flip about what other people think." That's all and good to say, but people who truly live like that aren't really living. It's impossible to live life without caring at all about what other people think. I care about how others think of me, that's how I function.
But, being the self-absorbed INTJ that I am, I guess I know deep down inside that this issue is settled. It's homage. No one is pressuring me to do anything, and I have no substantial interest. But I say our friendship, however unique and awkward it may be, and at least for me, knows no bounds. And I'm willing to put my selfish little self aside just to enjoy the company of my friend.
And to you dude, you and only you, I've kept my word and I plan on keeping it that way.
Posted by Mark Canlas at April 14, 2004 02:27 AM