The Golden Rule is Shit. (While thinking of a title, I thought of that Googlism thing... Blah blah is. Blah blah is. The Golden Rule is. What is the Golden Rule?)
I say this because... I have difficulty interacting with people. And my primary defense to all these accounts of offense seems to be... That's the way I wish people would treat me. Do I really? Do I really?
I dunno. I certainly know that I wouldn't like people to sugar coat things. People have a tendency to... I dunno. Lie to your face. I mean, I'm no saint, and I've lied plenty of times... But this is different. I'm asking for your opinion and I don't expect you to hold back.
So what is it that I've learned about other people and their asking for your opinion? Number one, not everybody wants to know everything. Apparently people take heavily to criticism, especially when it isn't requested. So, rule for me, just don't say anything. Silly mortals. I'm criticizing you because you're my friend. Only a real friend would call you shit to your face.
Number two, people don't take criticism in a way I think is constructive. So look, I'm not going to listen to you unless you prove to me that you know more or can do more than I can. Or that you understand my situation better than I do on my own. People are like... Oh so it takes so and so to do it and you don't listen to me? Of course not! You're not an expert.
But then. When people ask me... I expect you to listen and follow. Jeez, don't ask me for my opinion unless you actually want it. Now I'm starting to see a pattern here... It's... A double standard. People should follow me and I don't follow them. But I think I'm justified here. I think I hold some authority on certain technical matters... I certainly don't mess around with matters of the heart. So my double standard here is justified. I think. Relative contexts if you will.
I don't know where I'm going with this. But all I can resolve in my insanity is that the golden rule simply isn't it. I for one would like people to be honest with me. So, I give them my flavor of honesty. And I'm not returned with anything of substance. Henceforth, nobody will get anything from me ever.
Such terrible things to say, I know. But how else am I supposed to live? Just an unending cycle of disappointment at the world, especially the people in it. People are the worst.
Posted by Mark Canlas at January 30, 2005 01:27 PM