I'm dreaming I'm dreaming I'm dreaming I'm dreaming...
That's all I seem to do nowadays.
I'm dreaming of what it'd be like to live on my own. I wouldn't really have a home. Home is... Something else. "Home is where the heart is." *bleh*
John reminded me that I might have a roomate. *gasp* I'm going to have to be civil with somebody. But, in the monetary sense, whatever keeps the bills down, right?
So... What else keeps the bills down. Not having a TV. Shallow research has told me that TV fulfills the same part of human satisfaction that face to face interaction does. Hence, when people say they grew up with the Brady Bunch with Alice as their baby sitter, that's pretty much possible if not true.
I won't have a TV. I don't want one. A computer is enough for me. TV is just a big waste of time... Except for watching cool things like Farscape, Star Trek, and Andromeda. But even then... It's time sucking abilities aren't worth it.
And speaking of worth it... It's seemingly Borg-like the way everything in life comes down to a cost-benefit ratio... So when people say, 'tis better to have loved and loss than to never have loved at all... I'm almost willing to say ignorance is bliss. Now, some might argue I don't know what love is, and that's true. But substitute that phrase for something else and we've got a winner. I don't think much of anything in this world is really worth... Pain. Like, it'll have to be worth it in the end. Don't be leaving a sour taste in my mouth. Again, all about cost-benefit...
So, in this... Hypothetical own place of mine, I'd have nothing. I'd have almost no material possession of which to speak. Material possessions are for the weak and those who like to carry their crap around. My eternal mission is to sift through all of my files, condense them into cyber space, and just... Live. In the mind. Live anywhere at any time. With no concern for... Petty material things. And all this... Sparked simply because I don't like moving around. And trust me. Regardless of how rare moving in and out of an abode is... It's just not worth it. Lugging around anything is not worth it at all. It's the price of upkeep, a philosophy I've yet to write about.
EDIT: I forgot to mention the significance of completely dropping my enthusiasm for television (wow, I should totally start by wheening myself off of it here at home...). I want to become an audiophile. I want a recording studio the way an amateur photographer wants a dark room. I want to be on the radio, or at least develop this vocal confidence that certain individuals evoke. I want to sing. I want to listen to music. I want music to fill the air and fill my life. Lotsa a cappella...
I might want to teach. I could easily imagine myself teaching a group of high schoolers a cappella. And in no way is that depressing. Very surprising to me. So, I have to balance being a corporate ninja and keeping all of my dreams in check... Probably a very tall order. But I'd be very happy. And very single... But still. Very happy. I'd totally give it all up to have... Achievement. To do great things in the world. Who needs an SO. Totally overrated. Just ruins everything. So my scientific methodical Spidey sense tells me...
Boom, beem da, boom, beem da... Spider man...
Clocks really knows how to hit the sweet spot. Maybe I have a musical note for every mood... Or maybe I should just start smoking pot and really mellow out...
Not need. As many things in the world are. Ultra minimalist. Gotta be.
Posted by Mark Canlas at February 7, 2005 08:17 PM