Maybe I haven't been reading enough Dale Carnegie. But something tells me this is the part where I start to feel bad about us, about what happened.
But I know there's still one more way out. It's the same part of me that knows that happiness... Is all a ruse. Happy relationships are just stories that haven't finished yet.
I got that one from Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Mmm, taking cynical cues from a movie.
But uh... It's true, I guess. The only solace... The only real way to be happy... To avoid disappointment... And to properly believe in life... Is to not believe in anything. Because if you do, it will just come back to haunt and harass you. And let you down.
So here's to us. And all the bad things that happened. And my poor memory. I won't be taking any more steps forward... Because I'm lazy, hurt, and upset. So why take the pain when you can fly away.
Fly away to a land of fleeting dreams, impossible bars, mentral constructs, delusions, and no happiness at all. Just... Championing. That should be joy enough for anybody. Real joy is an illusion.
If I actually rewound three years of my life, where would I be? Lifeless, a properly functioning version of me would say. Better, I currently believe.
And part of me should be hurt. But that part of me isn't around right now.
Maybe one day we'll find our way back. And we'll be happy. But today's not that day. And here's to being better off for it.
Life ain't perfect... But it will be.
Posted by Mark Canlas at June 13, 2005 06:38 AM