To anyone that deams a given action as unnatural, I present to you my view on the universe. Given that the universe is an infinite heatsink, something of immeasurable relatively, I propose that you go do whatever you want to do. Save trees, burn trees, pollute the sky, kill people. It doesn't matter. For every action, there's a reaction. If you kill enough people, someone's action potential will exceed his patience. You will then become the hunted. To the challenge of polluting the earth, I mean, if that's what you really want to do, go ahead. The skys will blacken, the air will burn, and the seas will rise. Your actions against nature are not without repurcussion. You're robbing yourself of your own oxygen. Your folly will be your own demise. It's justifications like these that help me not worry about the world so much. Okay, so pollution might be a bad thing, but whatever. Mother nature will punish us in due time. Can't we just relax and enjoy ourselves, however guilty the pleasure...
I had a dream that was totally Indiana Jones and totally about the auditorium but I'm so out of it I don't think I can blog it all... But I do remember Psi Paisilon. Uhh, yeah, definitely that and nothing else...
Did you know that if we look forward to the future, that time will combust and cease to exist? Yeah... I'm not looking back, either. I'm looking straight at you, and enjoying the fire in your eyes. I want you to awaken the sprit within me, so I can be a part of the undying fire that burns time. My time is your time.
Sometimes, when I'm enjoying myself, I take a step back to break apart what I have. Review all the negative things about what I'm doing at the moment. And you know what? I don't care. All these negative things that would have been magnified and used against elsewhere, I don't care about now. And when dealing with people... I'd like to call this trust. No, there's no such thing as perfect friends in the world... And we know that. We have to expect that. So we let trust merge and fill in the blanks for us. I'm sorry, but I don't care, because I trust you. Then I get back to enjoying myself and all is pretty good at the moment. Pretty goddamned good...
Unto us has befallen a mighty, mighty friendship.
I stole this from the Great One. Ha ha, he's not so great, loser... "I am yours, you are mine, and the night is ours." How cheesy is that? Yeah, makes me wanna find the opportune moment to go use it... Mmm...
Mmm, I love that a cappella girl from the Real World. She sings and she's hot and I don't know what nationality she is.
That guy from the Real World/Road Rules thing now, James, and this guy from Theta, they both remind me of Joel. Seriously. I was thinking Joel the whole time. Umm, yeah. All the time.
So my new roommate points out an awfully disturbing lyric posed by those infamous Russian lesbians... Of course it's a misheard lyric. It has to be. But it's so functional, just like Kinko's (Jennifer Lopez) or Home Depot. And that lyric is... "Wanna fly her away where the sun and the rain // coming over my face, wash away all the shame" Funny, I thought facials were full of shame.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen... An all time low for the /mark portion of HTMLism, I know.
Probably inconsequential to anyone but me and a couple of guys in Tufts... But did you know actor Peter Gallagher was a Bub when he attended Tufts? Craziness, I tell you, utter craziness! I want to be a famous Bub. Or Hyannis member... Ahh, but did you also know that big guy who sang Bills, Bills, Bills became a member of the Hyannis Sound? See? Synergy is possible (if you're God, that is).
Hmm... Door just opened. Funny. Roommate came in. With a pretty girl.
Remind me. Never ever do singular habits... Ever...
Yo heart "Dell interns". Hmm, commercials...
It's shit like this that irrates me and will make me go out on a limb and say that my family is acting GAY because they refused to take me to school. I hate staying at home and that caused me to obliterate one whole day of work. Thank you and I hate you all. I made it super clear that nothing gets done at home and that I wanted to go back to school. For every liberty I receive is each moment that you lose me for pulling crap like this all the time. I hate being forgiving because your love is infinite as well as all the shit you give.
Catch me positive one day and it's on. It's a race. My friends make great role models. And I know what I want to do and be, kinda. So that's good enough. I hate ruts. I just have to get out of them... And do what I really want to do. And to stop talking. And just do. Because talk is cheap. But action is hot. Hot action.
It just occured to me that if I don't interact with my friends scopelessly... That is, if I'm in scope, does that mean I'm frontin'? Basically... Being untrue to myself and them? Fuck. Fuck the world. I swear why does everything have to seem so complicated every time I spend a late night at home... I hate people. I hate life. I hate complications. I hate thinking about it. It just never goes away. Ever.
This may be the one time ever that I'll record my wanting a relationship... Because I don't. Relationships are dumb. But I want a friend. A super friend to whom I can exude all my un-refined energies to without reservation... I have friends. I have many fantastic friends for whom I care very much about. But they're all in scope. I want a scopeless friend. A friend for all occassions. Where are you...
When I see you, I think of the world. I think the world of you. And it really makes me happy to no end... I should really learn how to extend that energy to other, lesser mortals... But tag, you're it. Thanks. Life has purpose, as previously defined by your equally cool doppleganger.
Please stop. I fear you. Haha, it's crazy. "Don't be scurred." I'm trying not to be...
I just exiled my roommate. No, it wasn't for sex, unfortunately. I just recommended that if he wants good sleep for his common tomorrow (today), he'd better sleep elsewhere. He always bitches about how I'm such a loud typer and such. So he should be thankful that I warned him. Even though I sound like a dick. I'm a dick, ted to your love blah blah...
I'm either being pressured into something I don't want to do... Or I am to have faith in the funness of the activity... I enjoy your company, but I don't like the activity. It seems so useless. Where's the utility? I don't drink. I'm not hungry. I don't appreciate any radical changes in your personality where you're free to render me as you please. Shit happens but I'm just saying I don't like it. I'm just saying. And off to the pub we go...
So let's say there's a motion for something to happen. And the zeroeth time around, it was already in place. Now, the first time around, you yourself are like no, I don't want it to happen. Even the support of two officials says no, it won't and can't happen. But the populous wouldn't mind, because the motion is already in use. Now, the second time around, there's greater affirmation from the elders of the populous that this motion should continue. The official words haven't been confirmed again, and you yourself actually don't mind. The motion is in use, so why not go with it, extremely Taoist. So, are we to follow practice and history? It's ultimately the decision of the head official, in whom I trust until the light shines no more. But then again I'm a spoiled brat and wouldn't mind having my way. As long as it works.
I got tagged for having Minority Report.
Life is all about gradients, never just the two polar opposites. Gradients make people better, because you're neither A nor B, but you're both. So you can just be whatever you want whenever you want. But the worst is when you act as A, but you're physically leaning to or are at B, and then someone slams A-responsibility upon you. That... Hurts. It's just a normal part of life. I wasn't violated or anything. I was rendered, which is completely understandable. It felt sucky, but that's part of the deal. Wtf, no one said it was going to be a free ride... So yes, I was annoyed. But hey, I know it's the truth and we're all good. Render me senseless.
Completely sexually charged. Eww. Right in the arms of a secret agent.
We burn time, together. I spent my time, I did what I had to do. I'm not worried.
Richard... I know you spent your time too... Har har wonk wonk wonk...
I slept and worried about the future in an array of condensed nightmares.
Of the one part I remember... It was all about Greek characters, pizza, and NYC... All six of us, pledging, minus Niko. All this talk of where is Niko where is Niko... Big noses and people from My Big Fat Greek Wedding... And Al. Al laying it down like never before.
I feel like I'm in trouble. I feel scurred. I need comfort and counsel.
What's the difference between spending your time and being a social outcast? What's the difference between being loyal and being owned? What's the difference between being left out and knowing your place? What's the difference between enjoying yourself and setting yourself up for dissappointment? What's the difference between faith and blindness? What's the difference between opting anyway and not listening?
Why can't I just enjoy myself... The world will never be satisfied... But isn't that what life is? A huge game of tug-of-war... To not be upset that this is the truth? Sometimes, when I'm aware, I can't handle all that truth in one shot. What happens when someone, any one of Them, or anyone anyone, says no... The world collapses in on itself... Time to cry in the rubble and start over.
Again, I have to ponder... Is it better to climb out of the debris, enjoy the sunlight, and construct a fantastic world, only to be shot down again by the next meteor... Or to curl up in a ball, in the comfort and privacy of the darkness and just not move... The dark's lookin pretty good sometimes. Not so much, not so little. It just is. No one plays tug-of-war in the dark.
It's not fun to think about life like this. But it just happens. Upon rejection. Upon failure. onFailure, onRejection, react().
If you're not okay, I'm not okay. Can't we just be okay, together?
And to any dichotomy we may encounter... Why can't we just be honest. Tell me that you don't want me around. Please, don't give me this illusion that it isn't working out... Sometimes, I'm blindly enjoying myself. But are you still unsatisfied? Is there nothing I can do to "turn that frown, upside down"? That's what's gotta happen, one day. I mean, hopefully it will.
So why can't we all be happy, together... Why can't I be happy in your happiness...
Thank you for the beautiful spring day. The shining sun, the cool winds, and my friends at my side make me happy to be alive, as I blindly enjoy the day. It's fuckin' amazing, if you will. My faith for you may waiver, but realize that there's no better day than today, and for that I'm grateful.
Did you ever think someone was cute... And then one day, blamo, they're super hot? Today, I mean cliff jumpingly hot. My RA, the hair... It's amazing. I was like, hey, nice hair... Mmm, nicely styled hair...
Insert witty post here.
Notice how all things, profiles, away messages, taglines, titles, can be satisfied with "insert $1 here"...
This was the result of catching up on all my ill sleep in Rich's room...
I imagined I was in Karen's house for something. Everything with a cousin atmosphere, and Stephanie too. In the background, there was somethingl like Christina Aguilera playing... Something very pop-dance-ish. Then, my view switches to the front door of my house. The door opens, and I already know that it snowed. There was Jodie and some older Bfield faces, wanting to play in the snow and such. And the person that comes up to greet me feels like Joel/Dave. But it wasn't either of them. By face, it was definitely Frank, but in a white Psi U jacket. But the name part said Sigma Nu, the fraternity Dave is supposed to be in. So this figure, guy, whoever, was very affectionate, us greeting each other and asking how we were. Joel? Dave? I'm Joel. Okay. (Hmm, that's not what his jacket infers...) I'm just joking, it's Dave.
And then I woke up. Shite.
No amount of worrying will save you now. Answer The Question truthfully.
Hey man, I heard you from down the hall. I guessed you were in here. // Are you sure you didn't smell me down there? -- Hey, it's a brownie convention. // It's like we're sympathetic to their cause. // Aww, here's our combination, feel free.
Two whities, two brownies. One domestic, one imported. One Indian, one Asian. It's like, what were you guys smoking?
Friends rock. Especially of the big brother variety.
I didn't know sleeping with a secret agent came with a price.
Realize, young one, that the fruits of your labor come at a price. A sacrifice, if you will. That sacrifice is to never look back, and realize that who you were no longer matters. To this end, you must trust and accept the forces around you, embracing who you may become. Worry not of the future, or your previous shortcomings. Live today and engage in your relationships.
You know your affinity for comedy is a bit overboard when you catch someone retelling a joke incorrectly (i.e. making up lines), and then you correct them by repeating exactly as the comedian did, line for line.
Ethics and Seventh Boy. Both of you need to shut up and stop talking about Linux. It makes me want to puke. Linux is not the end all be all of the world.
Time burns and it doesn't bode well, for now. So this is me wondering about a couple things... Audio blogger already has the potential to reach critical mass... Damn, too bad I didn't do it myself. That and what the language of the mind is. I'm American, so I think in English. What of my parents or other immigrants? When does your mental language, your train of thought go to a different track? When did Jen think in Chinese and when in English? What is that threshold? And what does that mean? People always speak of how difficult it is to translate eastern concepts into western words... Blah. Blah, I say! I wish everything would just go, as it is.
We swear that we're on the brink of insanity. And it's not just us, it's because we are who we are. That makes me the craziest of all. Too bad... Can't we just be crazy, together... Just for a little bit. Or at least I await that day when we can just all be crazy and still feel the same when sane. I think that's the way. When the change from insanity back to sanity yields no discomfort, because we are who we are.