What do you do when a bad mood begins to engulf you and swallow you alive...? I'm definitely not enjoying the day. Stupid leadership honors society... Maybe step one, I should change my clothes into something more comfortable. Step two, sit at my computer and read my e-mail. E-mail is fun. Step three... Sit at my computer again.
Ugh. Being an introvert... Nothing is ever really that much fun. Ever. Really. Fun.
Don't be mad, get glad.
Seriously. Certain things in life aren't worth getting bent outta shape about... In fact, some things are worse lots of praise, attention, and fun.
And so, this weekend, an army of one goes marching along. Quite a unique trip, I'd say. But we all have our trips to go through. Mine's just a little different... Just a little. And if anything, I should be more psyched each day to do what I set out to do... And that's to make good. To save the world. To make proud. And to give back.
Word. Cuz it's mad originable.
I was originally going to write an entry about maximum confusion and how it holds life's greatest secrets... But now the confusion has been lifted. Game's over.
Ugh, it was so much better being blind to the world. Conspiracy theories are the best. If they're wrong, they die quietly. If they're correct, then hey, the world is in your favor, no?
Ugh man I feel so dead now... But then again I never really was alive...
RIP Mark Canlas, April 1X, 2003, the part of me that will live on forever in the hearts and minds of those who remember.
Silence never felt wrong to me... For a while, I've been bent on sharing my feelings and opening up to everyone, but now I'm starting to see that it's a bit over-rated... No need to tell everyone everything. I'm an introvert for a reason, and I like it.
So, when it comes to all those complex things in life, I really don't feel like telling anyone... No one gets me, so why try? It's my issue, not yours... Bleh.
This guy speaks volumes about me.
Anyway, I was wondering about the correlation between being an INTJ and one's beilef in religion. I stumbled upon this page, which also alerted me to the tendency to box the world into the profile, which might be a little more overbearing than I already am.
So it seems that religion is a wofty argument and isn't worth believing in... I guess. I mean, I hate to say it outloud or anything, but yeah, I have like zero faith. I'm immune to magic (even though I like it). I'd be the worst Calculator in the history of Tactics.
I need to research the functionality and deficiencies of BlueTooth and how it relates to my BroadCast Ping project... As opposed to my BroadCast IM project...
As of late, the world isn't worth trusting. Trust no man, under any circumstance, ever.
I'm not one to ever call myself out, so be it that someone took it by accident or what have you, someone defniitely stole my camera. I can feel people are gonna be quick to shoot me shit about just leaving it on the table, but who the fuck goes our of their way to steal shit? And even then, what are the odds that I'll get it back? I sure as hell hope that everyone in their drunkardness didn't have enough time and energy to care about my camera and that some shifty ass employee of whatever shit Bethwood jacked my cam.
I was intentionally trying to be my introverted self that night. I didn't even dance to any trancey songs, which I guess should have surprised people. But whatever. That wasn't the point. I had fun staring and studying people. It's what I do, however unfortunate that may be. But the real kicker of the night was losing my shit, and I really hate the world now. I really do. What this signals to me is that no matter how much you trust someone, if they break that bond once, then you're done, forever. And now I can't trust the general public, or my friends. And it's really dumb to pull this INTJ X-files bullshit angle on everything and everyone in my life. Not fair to me and them. I'd just like to give a personal shout out to the bastards that stole my PS2 gear and my camera. I hope you all rot in hell, because stealing isn't cool, and you're bringing me to my breaking point.
Discovering weak points in humanity is not my deal. Now I gotta work this shit off, even though I've never had a job or whatever... Miniversity employment money or gah., it's going to a PS2 set and another camera. A small one. A better one. One that won't get touched by anyone, ever.
Fuck you, world. Fuck you, a thousand fold, for ever crossing my path.
Initially excited at the prospect of seeing some really cool art projects, the Rutgers-Netwark senior graphic design exhibit made me upset more than anything. You'd think that after four years of studying the art of... art, that they'd master the precision of at least 300 dots per inch. So when I see things not aligned or print quality just looking crappy, I'm upset.
But the whole communication thing made me focus on two things: one, I'd still love to study graphic design. It sounds like an awesome field. Two, artists have little to no regard as to the usability of their material. To them, it seems to be all avant garde with no regard at all. Black text on a dark background helps no one.
Nice ass, ass.
when all is said and done.. when the day is over.. when you're lying in your bed just moments before you go to sleep.. what is it you truly accomplished? did you get to put something on a resume? did you beat the game you're playing? did you get the latest pop song? maybe you slept for 15 hours.
do something for someone else. help them out. get rid of the "me", the "my", the "I" mentalities. even if it means just asking how they're doing. seeing if everything's ok. how their family is. how their life is. talk to understand. not to waste time. [r*]
You know what the worst part about being an INTJ is...? Always being right. Lacking a conscience. Or having an easily dismissed one. That no matter how bad things get, either immoral or just plain retarded, I'll always be right.
It's terrible. No feeling or concern for others at all. In the end, it's just right or wrong and I'm always right...
It's weird, because so matter how self-consumed I get, even in introspective, everything's aight because... I'm right.
That's funny... I could have sworn I wrote an entry last night entitled "Hate Hate Hate" ... Now I can't find it anymore... I forgot to press save?
It described the opposite of what I just wrote. About how hate is so easy and how hate turns how to be the emotion of motions... Because I was in a hateful mood. Oh well.
Even if Hate really is an easy emotion, how about Inspiration? I know there are certain times when all I can do is feel inspired. I'm consumed by the inspiration... But eh those are only on the good days. And when I'm really mad, I'm really mad... Bleh, so polar. Not.
I dunno. I still say it's easier to denounce the world than to be inspired by it, for however good inspiration is. Sucks.
But if it's a good day and the sun is out, then I'll deny everything I said yesterday with my poor poor memory and get a six on the sun stare. Why? Because... It's all about balance. Today, which is the best day of the week, I'm feeling inspired.
What does this mean?
i failed as a friend to you. so i'd like to say i'm sorry. i had to take some time out of my life for myself. so if you can forgive me lets make ameds and then we can start again this something i've been missing.
i've been missing you.
I'd like to say that I take my cues from everyone else... Sad when sad, and happy when happy. But in this case, if someone else is sad, and I can do something about it, then I will damn well be happy. For their sake. Cuz who doesn't need a shoulder to lean on every once in a while. That's everlasting support.
Who's ever heard of concurrent pledge classes? I thought that was a fluke...
Could you imagine? Rushing in the Fall and rushing in the Spring? But each pledge class has to stay around for a year? Isn't that weird! Pledge class senior, pledge class junior...
My first public research project. Or at least that's the plan, Stan.
0: Of the following, which is your favorite number? (Choices include i)
1: i??? That isn't even a real number!
2: Why do you have to make everything so complex?
3: I guess at the root he's simply a negative one.
Get it? The root of negative one? It's i? That's funny!!!
As I quote from a voice recorder entry...
If the CD isn't ubiquitous enough, what about the Mini CD? Or, what if they manufactured Mini CD drives for computers? Or laptops?
When I pitched this idea to Jay, he reminded me of economic cost. Is it really that economical to reduce the size of the CD drive? Don't the normal size and mini CD drives have the same parts? In their same parts, are you just reducing the radius of the drive and nothing else? That's crowded.
And are mini CDs that much cheaper?
Even then, it doesn't matter. I bought myself a spindle of mini CD-Rs and I found out that my shiny Senate laptop has a DVD/CD-RW. Sweetness. Mini CDs for everyone!
Turns out I didn't get the Miniversity job. Somehow, I don't think I'm not qualified. Bob probably hated my schedule. Eh, what can I say, I like going to class...
So I'm thinking, but then my thinking is halted. Even though I didn't get the job, I'm still offered a job. I know less than I did before, because I don't even know what my hours are.
Anyway, so I'm thinking. I'm thinking, hey! Why don't I take extra Saturday and 2nd session classes! How cool would that be? Abnormal Psych is listed for Saturdays. Fuckin' psych and fuckin' saturdays... And Design Fundamentals is open too. Mmm, design... I wonder what I'd do in that class...
Three questions assigned to me in History class two weeks ago... Only now do I do them.
What is Nietzsche's view on human nature?
...man must understand that life, which abounds in cruelty, injustice, uncertainty, and absurdity, is not governed by rational principles. There exist no absolute standards of good and evil, no timeless principles, whose truth can be demonstrated by reflective reason. The hgierh world of metaphysics is a myth; so too is the Christian heaven. Nothing is true. There is only naked man living in a godless, chaotic, meaningless, and absurd world. The strong must face this reality. The weak cannot, so they invent fables about a higher reality and a future life.1
Nietzsche seemed most unsatisifed with the current state of life, where logic ruled men's minds and hearts. He attacked value and tradition for their lack of insite towards his only ultimate truth: there aren't any ultimate truths.
A world bound by intellect and logic suffocated man's true calling to creativitiy, and creativity alone is most natural. Ironic how Nietzsche's philosophy, packed with insight and big words, calls for for the abandonment of "excessive intellect" and logic. And in the absent of this excess lie man's natural instinct, which Christianity sought to prohibit. Christianity, said Nietzsche, was "the religion of pity", used to amass the weak linked by their disdain for the strong.
Explain the concept of "God is dead".
Thus proclaimed Nietzsche, like a magician unveiling the truth behind the illusion. Religion is a social construct, no more, no less. Thus, man cannot make map anything religion offers to a sort of universal meaning or truth to life. There is nothing in life, and there is nothing in religion. With God away, there aren't any higher planes of existence.
Nietzsche cited this void as man's opportunity to take control, by indulging in instinct and creating values of his own.
What is the superman/ubermensch?
As he described Europe as a land with a vast herd and no shepherds, a certain type of man was to emerge, the superman. The superman, unbound by politics and religious values, would rise above the masses and assert the individual. In the face of Christianity's "thou shalt not," the superman insists, "I will." Dimensions like good and evil have no meaning, as his values are his own. He would exemplify man's true call to power, where man craves and exhibits power. They were a breed of energy and creativity, free of society's impositions.
1 An Intellectual History of Modern Europe, Perry, 295-298
From Winnie the Pooh Bear, I learned that his most favorite day of the week is Today.
I wonder what it's like to be gay in an all-male environment like Deep Springs College, or Bergen Catholic, or Wabash College...? Umm?
Have you ever seen a n00b play Dance Dance Revolution and all the while you were praying, "C'mon autofail... C'mon autofail. Autofail autofail autofail..." only to realize that Song Complete was turned on... Shucks.
Actually, it's not Fire Soul. Fire Soul just sounds more poetic than Mars Fireballs Charge. That's the move that Rei used in Sailor Moon to immobilize her enemies with a Japanese paper charm. Are those real? I mean, do they really immobilize demons?
A very cool claymation-type show that was on Nickelodeon a long time ago.
Mental note to all those looking for a PC alternative to the iBook or TiBook... Sony VAIO. It's the sleekest, smallest, most commercially available notebook I've seen so far. So, when I accidentally break all of my laptops and need a schway replacement, I'll be thinking of Sony first.
I don't understand, that is. I don't understand how I can project so much feeling to a select few things... And then other times, when things like that burn me, I have so much hate... Hate that erases any sort of meaning or sentiment within me. As in it's so much easier to hate someone or something than to have the energy to love it...
Hate is easy. Hate is preferable. Hate puts me at ease when life is unsatisfying... But why.
It just destroys everything in my path... Until I remember that other thing. Called regret. Or forgiveness. Whatever. Forgiveness should be squashed by Hate because Hate is cool. Hate is objective, I think.
Whatever. They had it coming.
But I'd just like to know, for posterity and safety's sake, that I'm mostly a calm person. I don't like to hate. I'm not hateful. It's just that under certain circumstances, when I get charged, I really do get charged. And it's not pretty.
I'm just saying.
A triangle can exist on a 2D plane, but it can also be represented on a 3D plane at point sets zero-one of each axis.
If an N node perfect object can exist on an N-1 dimensional plane, it's better represented on an N dimensional plane.
I originally wrote a note to myself a while back to describe the philosophy of solipsism. But luckily, there's also that link I just found in Google to help everyone out. No, I didn't read it.
Given that solipsism has the following premise... All elements of the universe originate from oneself. Think of it like two rays pulling out of a point, making a cone shape field of vision, much like a camera would. And from this camera analogy, we would say that the camera would never be able to see itself.
As I write this, I'm already thinking, hello? Light-based device? Get a light-reflective object like a mirror. True. See Mario 64, where you can see Lakitu, the camera-man in the room of mirrors.
Anyway, I only took the camera analogy because of the style of the field of vision... I don't think there exists any philosophically reflective object that can shed light on one's universe. I still haven't, of course, read the article to which I linked...
A diet developed by a one John Walker, formulated especially for the Slashdot-type crowd.
On the other hand, while inbreeding depression clearly hurts, the evidence for "hybrid vigor" among multiracial individuals is less clear, since the returns from outbreeding diminish fairly rapidly the farther out you marry from your own nuclear family. Still, a careful study of biracial white-Japanese children in Hawaii did find that their IQ's were two points higher than those of their monoracial peers of the same socio-economic status.
Another phrase, which used to be cool, but is now over-used... An interjection used to denote something... cool.
A phrase used by the daughter-figure Gosalyn to denote something cool in the animated cartoon series Darkwing Duck. See also Pokemon syndrome for the Just Us Ducks (Justice Ducks) two-part episode featuring Nega-duck.
This word, up until now, has appeared only once on the Internet according to Google, and that is on Psi Upsilon's house profile from Dartmouth College. Frategy seems to be a synthesis of fraternity and strategy, as in the strategy that a fraternity employs.
My roommate has this friend and this friend has a site. And on this site, which lacks post-specific links, he writes of crunktifornication. Never before have I read such an amusing yet eloquently written piece. A dialectic of two vices, if you will.
Just what is this term, you ask, “Crunktifornication”? It is the very goal, the pinnacle of my existence and crux of my being. It is what I strive for, from the moment I wake until the moment I pass out; I say pass out because it necessarily requires one to pass out from drunkenness. Crunktifornication, its etymology, stems from two phat words. The first, crunk, aka crunktified, crunked, get my crunk on, etc, is quite simply, getting mad retarded primarily through alcoholic means. As you will learn in a moment, this is the easy part. The second word, one that is actually in the English language, is “fornicate”, meaning, fuck, bone, tap, et cetera. Put the two together and we have a beautiful concept that involves two very, very beautiful things.
pouring emotions through my fingertips into songs that only my soul knows the melody to and only the heart can listen to.
Vice President of Chillaxing, Life 101, Inc.
A list of things taken from the Interaction Designers list.
• Usability Design for the Home Media Station
• Designing and Evaluation Supportive Technology for Homes
• Interacting with Home and Home Appliances in a Hand-Held Terminal
• Intelligent Home Appliances
• The Home of the Future: An Ethnographic Study of New Information Technologies in the Home
Ooo, I'm excited. Another amazing list of books (yet again hijacked from the INTJ Open list). But I'd like to point out now, if I never have before in this medium, that I don't really read... I love the concept of books. I love learning from books. I love borowing books, and I love the feel of books. But will I ready any of these? Bet on the No horse.
Self-improvement (or other knowledge) series bearing the Lecter seal of approval: (Only included are those freely downloadable on P2P)
The judgments are based upon the four factors of logic, tactics,
diplomacy, and strategy.
1. David J. Lieberman "Instant Analysis" *
2. Jim Rohn "Lessons in Leadership"
3. Carol Fleming "Sound of your Voice"
4. Dale Carnegie "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
5. Dennis Waitley "Psychology of Winning" (sways his hand in a
6. Chester L. Karrass "Effective Negotiating"
7. Mark Sanborn "High Impact Leadership"
8. Michael Starbird "Visualizing the Derivative" (Calculus) *
9. Dennis Dalton "Power over people" (the U.S. is a federal republic
in truth, blah blah)
10. "Speak Smart"
11. Ric Edelman "Studies in Behavioral Finance"
12. Anything by Steve Chandler
13. Sun Tzu "The Art of War" *
* Denotes favorite.
Seal of rejection (to be learned and rejected):
1. Economics in One Lesson
2. How to read a person like a book
3. Tom Peters "Circle of Innovation"
Not yet judged:
1. Alan Axelrod - Strategic Lessons for Corporations (relies heavily
on anecdote...yet also Patton...)
Again taken from the INTJ Open list (one would just deduce that I'm reading it right now):
1. Those who make things happen.
2. Those who watch things happen,
3. Those who wonder what happened.
Wow, with that kind of demarcation of the world, I definitely want to be a maker.
Oh God, random book on Japanese values... Must read. Recommendation taken from the INTJ Open list.
Taken from in the INTJ Open group:
I am a young single INTJ and for a while I had trouble dealing with loneliness and had difficulty relating to people at the workplace and outside. I toned down my assertiveness and tried to develop my "feeling" side to appear more gentle and approachable to others. I might be suffering from low self esteem at this time, hopefully this board can serve as a support group as well to those in need of more insight. I am constantly trying to understand how i FIT IN with the rest of society. I am lonely is what I am saying, with no motivation to change that. Partly because I like being alone. But I hate this part of me, I have come more to hate being INTJ. For the longest time, I wanted to be more like other personality types, easily mingling with others and actually enjoying idle chatter, instead I find myself at the darkest corner of the room, the anti- social. Can anyone else relate? Here is the survey:
is it ok to feel satisfied and content knowing that you are alone?
should you strive to get a social life, a social group perhaps, just so that you fit in, in the eyes of others, show them you are not a loner.
Where do you draw the line as to how much social you need less you burn yourself out. I know we intj's need time to recharge after being around people much.
what extend would you go to fit in to the social crowd. would you even take that step to fit in in the first place, or are you comfortable just being the way you are, alone. do you feel guilty for it.
It's cool how I can finally see other people in the world that feel the way I do. Someone even replied with "Paradoxy is the alchemy of the INTJ." If that's true, then I can see why I love Taoism so much. The paradox of Taoism, which I've yet to write about, is enough to keep me going for at least two eternities.
So some guy is all up in the Interaction Designers mailing list and says he's really enjoying the book... Totally gotta read this book now...
Saw Dr. Thad Starner on Monday at his talk about wearable computing. Pretty wild, but it's still not my cup of tea. The technology should conform to me, not the other way around. And in that, I think it's still too bulky. I want things to be crazy elegant, everywhere. Easy to wear, easy to use.
But he has a nice parlor trick. Having instant messaging or chat rooms available to you instantly is pretty sweet... And augmenting the value of serendipitous communication, also very important.
But for day to day use? A very slow thumbs down. But I'm intrigued.
So I have these things that I'm willing to call values, which are prohibitions on my life... Can't engage in certain vices, if you will. But I did tell one very good friend of mine, "Dude, if I was ever to do it, I'd do it for you and only you," where "it" is a given vice. Some people don't give a flip, but I still do.
And so at some later date, we catch up and I tell him of my times and adventures. He says, "So, with all of these opportunities do to it, did you do it yet?" I say no, of course, much to everyone's surprise... I'm true to my word. Or at least I try to be.
But this leads me to think of this other vice which people might not take too kindly in comparison to the other one... So I'm thinking... If I was to ever engage in either, or both, is that because of peer pressure, or is there really some other way around it?
Now, I'd like to defend and say that no one is pressuring me to do anything, except maybe myself. I really don't have any interest in either vice, other than their symblism. So to me, committing to either vice would be homage to our friendship... But I'm afraid now that people might not see it that way.
At this point, some might interject and say, "Hey, don't give a flying flip about what other people think." That's all and good to say, but people who truly live like that aren't really living. It's impossible to live life without caring at all about what other people think. I care about how others think of me, that's how I function.
But, being the self-absorbed INTJ that I am, I guess I know deep down inside that this issue is settled. It's homage. No one is pressuring me to do anything, and I have no substantial interest. But I say our friendship, however unique and awkward it may be, and at least for me, knows no bounds. And I'm willing to put my selfish little self aside just to enjoy the company of my friend.
And to you dude, you and only you, I've kept my word and I plan on keeping it that way.
Just finished watching the Chinese movie Hero, featuring Jet Li... I dunno what to say about it other than I like the vivid use of color. So simple. It makes me want to get my house to be totally feng shui compatible... Like maybe have five chambers, one for each element. And the house would be totally balanced, so that there are architectural interactions between each elemental pair. Mmm, feng shui...
Let the record show that Mark Canlas was elected Recording Secretary for the NJIT 2004-2005 Student Senate.
Too bad, though... Doing things for the wrong reasons... And those gypsies. Those magical gypsies who will come and whisk me away...
I think that's it. I've crossed the rubicon. I've declared my in profile that I will get no sleep until I get into Carnegie Mellon. I even stared at my Vice City imitation PSD and changed it to be a corny motivational poster. Carnegie Mellon University it says. And in place of Vice City, my secret project. I think I only told one person about that, but I guess we'll keep it that way.
If this is truly the way I want to live, then there has to be some major rearranging with the limited amount of time I have left. I know that the way I live my life now is inadequate to deal with the dreams of tomorrow. That is, the dreams are never seen.
I recently just changed my writing style to something way more produtive... It just makes more sense to me. And in pinning up the motivation CMU sign, I got one yellow pin and one red pin. So, to me, it's a sign. Really.
But then in the bathroom (where man contemplates life's greatest puzzles), I thought, you know, none of this matters, in the very, very end... As long as I feel good, then that's what really matters. And in the words of someone most meaningful to me... The giver of that which truly matters...
I feel alive.
outrageous chopstick game
I've always accused certain things in life of being organic, and I never really understood why until now...
In The Origin of Species, Charles Darwin cites the Latin canon, "Natura non facit saltum," which I should have been able to translate myself, except I didn't know the word saltum.
It means "nature makes no leap" and that makes so much sense. The things that I've accused of being organic, or natural in this case, have always been gradual, as opposed to sharp, dynamic, or discontinuous changes. Changes must be slow, but more so continuous and gradual. You can have really fast changes, they're just unlikely. So long as they're continuous, that's organic.
Anything else would be uncivilized and featured in an episode of Beast Machines (awesome series, I less than three Mainframe).
AIM makes me feel like a jerk... I have the tedency to respond way faster to people's IMs than they do mine, so I think I'm vibing off the impression that I sit on AIM all day and just wait for the IMs to come rolling in...
It's not true.
Or is it?
If we were to attribute my cat-like reflexes and my mad-fast ability to type and articulately express oneself online, that still might not fully explain why I'm hawking the IM window so much... Maybe because it flashes orange and I have nothing better to do? Maybe it provides me with a positive, yet socially negative (as in distraction), alternative to my current workings.
Nope. None of that explains anything. I'm just a speedy AIM junky.
Walks like a duck, talks like a duck, looks like a duck, gets mistaken for a duck... What is it?
Something that won't stop fighting the good fight, that's for sure.
We all know how cool it is to be a Jedi, but how about looking like one? It's either really cool or really dorky to have that Jedi hair tail (not the pony tail) that Anakin sports. I can't tell. But I'm thinking I wouldn't want to go through that period of time where I'd have to grow out my hair to actually do that. Nasty.
This is where someone should stand up and yell, "Extensions!".
An important part of the 80s that I don't remember too well... All I can remember is vague images of muppets and the Never Ending Story. Different, but related.
Also, this was the same era as when I was enrolled in the after school program... There, I remember watching a movie called the Electric Grandmother. I never knew what happened to it or how it ended, but I always remember the parts where the children were selecting a grandmother from among the silhouettes, and how the girl didn't like her hair braided from some mindless piece of metal.
The 80s. Born in and enjoyed the re-runs. That is all.
May the 90s ferment and become true to its word (starting with American Gladiotors and the Internet, as cited by E!, those bastards).
Paradigm. Pronounced pa-ra-dig-um. Jesse, think outside the box.
When I use Opera (like the one or two times I could actually sit through it), it feels like it's aimed at developers... And I have no idea why. Why would you tailor your browser to the web development crowd? Why not, someone would counter.
Because good web development uses more diesel tools.
Because developers aren't the chunk of your audience.
Lest we forget the age old pastime (never mine) of gargling chocolate syrup and milking, and then shaking your head around? Yeah.
So if someone said "aural sex", what would that actually be?
I could go the route of complacency and say that whatever I'm doing now is what I'm doing.
I could affirm that anything I do would be in the name of Carnegie Mellon (something looking very likely).
I could look backwards and say that all of what I do is for those who have given to me...
But I do recall it's easier to go back, back, waaaay back and remember the true origin of all things useful: competition. I was raised as the bottom of the most elitest barrel in all of 201, so it's my job to fight fight fight. That's right, still holding shallow, figurative grudges against those who are better than me... You know who you are. I want you to know, it's really all your fault... And if I save some burning monkeys or find the cure for rabies along the way, well then, that's peachy.
Remember kids, a seething hurt for all things passed is definitely the way to live an energetic and productive life.
At some point in time, I wrote a lengthy list as to how similar a cappella groups and fraternities are... Funny, though, seeing as how I haven't officially been in either of them, but admire them so.
Yup... Fraternity and a cappella group. Very similar. Very awesome.
I long for it.
Only relatively recently have I heard of this gift giving technique where in a circle of friends, all of the friends collaborate and buy one friend a big gift, as opposed to doing this lengthy matrix of individual gift giving of small gifts. What results is a true group bond with major gift exchange-age...
Four friends, four gifts. Simple. But the whole coordination thing is key, because for each gift, the receiver must be kept out of the loop. Isn't that weird, though, how if kept constant, each person will be expecting a gift?
Works for me. I love gifts. Especially blank paper. Ugh, man, we went to Pearl today and I wanted to die... So much paper. Sketch books, black paper, construction paper, unlined paper, tracing paper, recycled paper, bound paper, loose paper... It was all there. So delicious...
So today's lesson. If you ever want to get Mark a great gift, blank paper will do just fine. Why? Blank paper, to me, represents a world of possibilities. Paper is meant to be written on, meant to be used to express oneself. Diesel.
Terrible title, I know. But somehow suiting...
I sense that the secret of the world in the next coming generation lies within the cracks... That is, it's not just A or B, exclusive of one another, but both. Not one theory or the other, but both theories.
It's very yin and yang about it.
The thought behind his post originated in my fascination with Final Fantasy tactics, whose graphics system I still adore even today. It had a quick rendering 3D background, very simple, combined with a vast array of well-crafted 2D sprites.
There hasn't been, methinks, any advancement in teaching computers how to make good pixel art. That is, sprites, however computer-esque they look, will always be a human art. The Japanese must know the most about expressing the most information in the least amount of space, with their Nintendos and cell-phones and the like...
3D isn't everything. It can't be. Relax a little. Life isn't all about 3D graphics. I just wish some video game companies would concentrate on level design, balance, and interaction, instead of just graphics.
There used to be this cartoon, the Maxx, featuring this purple dude with yellow hair... I think. Probably a very poor description. Crazy cartoon nonetheless. Another thing I remember about the Maxx is that this really tall guy who used to hang out at Sportsworld, Andrew, had a figurine of him. I wish I collected figurines, but I haven't found any that have struck me, nor am I that big of a comic book guy. Maybe Beast Boy. Maybe.
One day, I'll have an organized section of favorite things, just like all those other sites out there... But right now, I'm just spring cleaning, and this is more for myself than anyone...
Bots Master -- I loved that show. It was about a kid, ZZ, who had all these robots... With his ninja and sports robots, etc., and his kid sister, they would foil the plots of evil-doers. So quality.
Ice Man -- Great character in MVC2 since he doesn't take energy chip damage. Fire fight = teh ownx0r.
Spider Man -- A great, witty character with lots of agility and slick moves. Plus, he's a geek in the storyline.
In Final Fantasy Tactics, try casting a Truth or Un-Truth on yourself. If you die in the process, but are still responsible for casting the rest of the spell, Rafa/Malak will stand up/sit down. It's funny. Because they're already dead. Up. Down. Up. Down.
You know you've been browsing for way too much porn when you start seeing a picture again and again...
Or you can recall the people in the pictures by the person's name or the picture's movie/scene.
TEHWIN: Man, I love sleeping. I wish I could wake up so I could back to sleep again.
The perfect web browser has the following:
Speed - Internet Explorer, Firebird, Crazy Browser
Compatibility - Internet Explorer (in the popular plug-ins sense), Crazy Browser (minus the most excellent Google Toolbar)
Text Scaling - Firebird (Internet Explorer's won't cut it. I've tried making my own bookmarklets to help solve that area, but I came up dry)
Pop-up blocking - Present in virtually all browsers that matter
Tabbed browsing - So fast, so volatile, so the-way-my-mind-actually-works
Internet Explorer needs text scaling and tabbed browsing
Crazy Browser needs text scaling and the Google toolbar
Firebird needs to be even faster than it is, plus a little more support for weird ass Internet stuffs (mostly Microsoft technologies)
This is where I'll post all of my research type stuff. Hopefully stuff from class and the one or three great ideas I have...
Did you ever feel obligated... Obligated to just burn time and enjoy yourself, even if you never originally intended to? Mainly for the sake of the other person, but maybe deep down inside, you're enjoying yourself, too?
Obligated to help out, solely via some association, completely without rationale... To only realize later, after being engulfed in a swarm of passion and goodness that the association itself is reason and reason good enough to merit anything at all?
Obligated to give and give, especially to the younger generation... That everything you do influences someone, and that someone might be watching... Obligated to show them the brightest future possible, turning your mistakes into words of wisdom...
Or obligated to give back to those who've given you so much day in and day out. Those who give you life and reason to wake up every morning.
Obligated? Bleh. I think I just do what I do.
What does "I consider myself straight," actually mean? "I... dipped into both cups, but I'm really affirming that I didn't." You mean, there was a point where you had to consider? I dunno. I'm under the impression that participation precedes consideration, henceforth, you are what you are.
"I eat Arthur's steak [mmm...], but I consider myself vegitarian."
"I've only gotten blow jobs, but I consider myself a virgin."
"I've only done everything there is except that, but I consider myself a virgin."
Umm, okay... You go on and keep telling yourself that. Yeah.
YeaayaH!!! WHAT!!! OkaY!!!!
I had this weird dream that I was being chased by the FBI for asking too many questions about Elizabeth Churchill's digital poster board project... And then I tried arguing why didn't they know of my character, since I was working for FBI agents in some capacity already.
Now you, too, can dress up our Lord and savior! Easter Bunny Jesus! Chocolate Jesus! Aerospace Jesus with Kung Fu Grip! It's all there.
Topics to consider...
Assume that SQL is the most dieselest of languages, and is thus the most theory complete way of handling a relation database.
Investigate the storage, retrieval, and validation of data (mapping across input domains).
Movable Type's API.
Moveable Type's SQL structure.
Session handling (via a state-less protocol apparently).
Any structure that C2 has.
I'm starting to wonder what would happen if I refocused my efforts... Like, made a serious effort to just channel all of my energies into doing what it takes to get into Carnegie Mellon... Aww snap, that would be so sweet... It just gets my dreams all flared up and active. How awesome would that be? Plus, that secret little summer project I have... I dunno, we'll see how that goes. If I'm serious about that the way I am about this, then jeez, the world has been too kind to me... Too kind.
I already have two great friends that mean so much to me right now... And then, for a chance to redeem myself and go to the school that I really want to be at, and then indulge myself in a secret past time I never knew I had, all this is too much. Too much to handle, but someone needs to do it.
Maybe that someone is me.
So I have this site where I want open moderation... Because I don't like the concept of external moderation. In that, I do favor a wiki-style self-moderation. This whole exploration into wikis is really weird... Anyway, I thought of a Senate type solution. What about a motioning system? Like you motion to make a change and your IP address is recorded. Any non-same IP address can second or deny your motion. It would reduce rampancy in the open editing system... But it would add to the whole concept of moderating the system. I dunno, it's just something to think about.
There's something I don't get... Or maybe I do get it, but it's a bit retarded.
So personality pages tell me I'm an INTJ. That's all good and well. We're the most self-validating of all types. But then there's a normal human convention that finding evidence of one's self-concept validates your nature. So I'm like indulging myself in literature about myself? The INTJ, the most offensive and self-centered of all types? Isn't this all just not helping and adding to the problem? It's like now I have a reason or an excuse to be who I am without apology. Although some might argue that personality type or not, you should just be who you are. And I guess I'm an INTJ. Sweet.
Wow I just saw the Areva commercial that looked like the Sims and Sim City combined... Ugh, it was so awesome. I wish it was digitized somewhere...
Questions to answer
Nietsches view on human nature
The concept of god is dead
What is the superman/ubermencsch
The date is 1880, 1914, years of crisis, reference to, but not in the text
Writing about the subconscious, non rational behavior, philosopher
Catalysts of change, imperialism, indusitrliams (2nd industrial revolution)
Coal and iron, steal oil electicty in the 2nd one
Feeding the indusitrialied poor with canned goods (spam, anyone?)
Challenges to bourgeois liberalism -- this is a question on the final, political economical social etc
Internationalism vs nationalism (study of propaganda, beginning of)
West is best
West and the rest
Problems surfacing in this decade lead to the first world war
Marxists - own means of production equals power
"fell on deaf ears"
Pressure to democracy and access to education in the 1880s
Rise of the white collar worker (marxist confusion at)
They are proletariage by wage, bourgeois by value
Econimcs, economic nationalism vs free trade
Eikreisunqpolitik - politcs ofencriclement
Britain and france hold germany down (those to blame for the world war)
Does marxist philosphy resemble wikisim?
Professor wants to do a study on the history of tasters, those who died in the tasting of food for royalty
Fin de siecle, french phrase, end of the century)
Nietsche says it's a period of overripeness
The rise Avant-guarde movements (cutting edge)
Crises ideologies, streams of thought
The role of intellect and reason in man's behavior
Embourgeoisement (an insult)
Applie pie diplomacyy, a slogan for imperialism
Oxford english dictionary (oed)
Heatehn, non0european, non-christian (a definition that surfaced in the oed
Reform is a superstructure
Social democractic party, with orhodox marxist beliefs
Change in the super structure to leak into the substructure (that's their dedication)
Lenin's revisionism - eastern marixsm, vanguard, russian marxism (lenanism)
Nietzsche, nihilism, debunking, pessimistic
Greatest defend of the individual
Morality avenge quirks decadents (keywords of a missing quote that I never wrote down)
Says death is the ultimate phobia
Only man ponders immortality/mortality
Bourgeois something… (who hates these things? And bourgeoise what?)
The rise of herd culture, says Nietzsche
Mediocre means ordinary
Genius and the truth individual
Conspiracy against creative genius
The Conspiracy is composed of two things
- Bourgeoise values
- Christian piety/humility
Both of which are pesudo values
Together, the values negate each other
This makes everyone the same, the dwarfing effect (I say great equalizer)
Why does freud say men come together to form a society?
Define what Jung means by the unconscious?
Freud's view of man's nature, definitions of id, ego, super ego, and the description of the Oedipus Complex
This kid came to campus for Open House/shadowing... And all the while, I felt compelled to entertain him. I even gave him that scholarship book that I got and never read. I told him, hey, better you read it than I. He's in a better position to use it after all (a junior in high school). Not even seventeen yet... Jeez. Made me feel old, all that talk about hacking DC and the like. Crazy Brendan.
I have this image of synchronous editing in my head... The article mentioned here said something about insertion conflicts and notifying users of where other users are modifynig document text. But what if inserted text was "hot"? Kinda like in Battle.net, where new text shows up and then fades awa. But the document text wouldn't fade away into nothing, it would fade into black. So inserted text would start as some fresh, volatile color, like green or orange, something neon. And then, over time, it would fade into the document, so as to resemble older document text.
Bah, now I feel compelled to write a network-aware application that would support shared document editing... I can see it now. Users logged in, users active, where the number of users active could very well be below the number of users logged in (their cursosrs aren't active). And then I'd have to do all this math about insertion points... But insertion points and maybe mouse movements should be fedback to all of the other users, just so they know what's going on. Insertion points of other users should look obvious and dangerous, in that you shouldn't be typing in the same vacinity as another user.
Another thing I was thinking about is the insertion of text before your cursor. Using the current model of word processing, words in front of you move when you type behind them. So if someone is typing behind you, all of your text will move. I predict that would be a violation of the current user model for word processing. In that, I suggest that the displays look different and relative per user. If someone is typing behind you, it shouldn't look like anything on your screen. On the other person's screen, they'll see their text make the text in front move fast, and the text in front of you even faster. But for you, the text behind you shouldn't move. That is, the display should implement some sort of reverse buffer? The inserted text would make the text shift in reverse, adding odd amounts of white-space at the beginning of the document. This is until you press some sort of global refresh, I guess. But in either case, it will look weird on your screen, but still as traditional as synchronous editing can be.
Here's a new research topic that might be interesting... Spontaneous group dynamics. To what do we owe each other in terms of responsibility?
Sure, there are lots of formal groups in the world, like fraternities or companies. But what about less formal groups? Or ones defined spontaneously? I dunno, like all people in an elevator, or everyone who's too scared to say something against the bigot/manager. These groups are loose, informal, and spontaneous. They're linked together by some common thread, and exhibit some behaviors consistent with formal group dynamics.
All the people in the elevator usually follow some set of social graces. That's just a given, expecting everyone in a small space to be civil. But it isn't always the case.
Or what about people scoped by attribute? All of the non-members in a room, or all of the brown people in the room. Could you consider that a group? What do they owe each other? How do they interact?
The world may never know.
Matthew Perry is to Dr Watson as Jack Black is to Mutton Chops...
Currently reading this article on synchronous-asynchronous group editing.
My search was inspired by my own desire to form the ultimate knowledge management tool and the presentation shown to us at CIS 490... Collaboration is the new buzzword, apparently.
The Wiki Way: Collaboration and Sharing on the Internet
google: collaboration wiki
I'd like everyone to know that I'm not doing so well in school... But who am I comparing myself to? A national standard? Some parents would be exstatic that their child is merely in college. But my family is past that.
So I'm doing badly in school. Why is that? Overloading, I tell ya. I'm doing too much in a short amount of time... But why? Why choose to overload yourself? Do less, Mark, you say. It's that easy.
But alas! I propose otherwise, I say that my productivity would go down if I did less. That's right, I do not have a constant work-load effort pool K. If I had less to do, I'd comparitively do even less work. Gave me nothing? I'd do nothing. I'd so fail just one three credit class...
So where does that bring me now? Doing mediocre/failing nineteen credits worth of HCI-osity... How terrible you say. I, however, would continue to insist that this is the best I can do... It's either this or nothing else. I'd rather pile it on than wait it out... There's no better time than now, however unfortunate the circumstances may be. But if I can affirm that the situation would only get worse, than my current state isn't really that unfortunate, now is it? Maybe I should be happy in and of myself, but I can't really say that. I do hold myself to that national, Academy-born standard; crazy-ass expectations that no one can really meet. But I try, you know? And I don't think I've ever been more enlightened or productive in all my life, even with all the failure baggage that comes along with it.
Fashion show was a bust... Costed money which I never have. Karaoke was a bust, everybody running on ultra brown time. Java house I never went to... So I decided to get food at the cafe. What a bad idea, save meeting some key peoples on the way out... Then, burned time like it was nothing. Time well spent, of course. Eh, I'm running out of substance in this entry... Anyway, I'm of clarity and productivity right now, starving for the message behind the music.
Complete this analogy and unlock the secrets of developing web applications...
Compiled binaries is to Visual Studio .NET as web pages and scripting is to...
Now that Movable Type is up, running, and giving me something to do, I think my intellectual pursuits will finally flourish... And to me, in my ultra sour and annoyed state, there's nothing better than thinking about something to quash any sort of petty emotion getting in the way of real achievement... If only all things in life were that simple.