July 31, 2005

Two Conditions that Drive Life

I was thinking... There's this one thing that drives life, technology, jobs, etc... And that's war. Actually, this thought stemmed from... You need pressure to really get the essence of how people are. Pressure. Stress. Limits. Critical conditions. War is one of them. The other is...

Sex. A basic human desire. I know it drives me to a handful extremes... So should it other people.

Sex and war. I think... If you thought of everything in a higher, pressurized context of sex and war, maybe the world would be a place.

Even user interfaces need war to have that extra kick in the ass. Must be easy to use with one arm bleeding and my hand chopped off. Weird things like that. I would almost guarantee that it would be easy to use healthy and otherwise.

Computers that need to boot faster. Or just do anything faster. I know you've been there, waiting for your data... Just think about war. How much you need technology to be there for you, ready and able. Can't be ready while looking at an hour glass... War.

Of course you could apply this to sex. You really really really need to get some and you'd really really really like those high res pics... Well, it's not a matter of necessity like war, but pornography (qua sex) has always been a driving factor in technology and society. See betamax or the rise of homosexuality (those crazy homosexuals)...

Sex and war. I'm pretty sure I covered everything.


Then die. In war. Or... Go have sex. =)

Posted by Mark Canlas at 11:06 PM | Comments (0)


Of course a post about Google would be superceeded by yet another post about Google...

Google has improved my sex life, tightened my abs, and brought me closer to God. (I keed.) Actually, as a working gossip columnist, I appreciate Google as a rough - very rough - research tool. The Internet is still the Wild West. [link to printable version]

Emphasis mine. It's funny, laugh. =)

Posted by Mark Canlas at 01:33 PM | Comments (0)

More Results from Google, Updated

Hmm... Maybe I'm slow. Or maybe the publishing speed of the Internet is slow (really?). But I just wanted to be (or try to be) one of the first to document this change (so far as I can tell) to the Google interface.

It all started when I was searching for apache and asp...

EDIT: OMG. It totally disappeared. I'll try to recap what I was looking at but it has since disappeared during the writing of this post. God damnit, Google.

Anyway. Looking for apache and asp, I get search results with this site up on top. But back to the search results page. Usually, for a large site included in the results, there is an indented section for links originating from the same site as the parent result. Below that entry, inside that indent, is a link described as "More results from [domain]".

Here's the kicker. Above that. Or what used to be above that, since it has (since) disappeared was a list of links that looked like top-level sections of that website. So for Apache::ASP, I saw a list of links that looked like INTRO - INSTALL - CONFIG - SYNTAX, just like the top level navigation on that site. I wondering if this was a new thing, so I tried looking for other people to describe it... Asking questions on Google was never really its forte. No avail.

But I did try it with other big keywords, like amazon, ebay, and microsoft. Same thing happened. The Amazon search result was populated with four top level links, just like Amazon's regular shopping site. Something about electronics and babies probably. Ebay, Microsoft, same thing. Microsoft had links to Support, Windows Update, Office... Whatever.

So that's it. And that's me documenting it. I've seen something, Google! And I ain't crazy!!!

Posted by Mark Canlas at 01:25 PM | Comments (0)

July 29, 2005

A Wooden Ferrari

This guy has created a wooden Ferrari. [via the Working Stiffs]

Posted by Mark Canlas at 04:03 PM | Comments (0)

July 27, 2005

Juvenility Forever

From that same mailing list...

say helicopter... now chop off the copter... and then say it again now chop off the i... and then say it ... OoOOo!!! You said the H worrrrrrddd..... you are goinggggg theeerrrreeeee OooOoO!!!!

I totally feel like a three year old.

Oh, by the way, coolest thing ever happened. I renewed my license and I'm not 21 yet. So, I got the ghetto Under 21 License. But... This means I can be under 21 for another five years. That's hot. (tm) =)

Posted by Mark Canlas at 02:06 PM | Comments (0)

Blow teh Cartridge

Jacked from a mailing list between my brothers...

Huey: Who was the genius that came up with blowing on the games to make them work?

Dewey: LoL!!! there was never a handbook or any other documented instructions on blowing game cartriges.. it was just something us smart kids knew. if its dirty, blow it... right Louie?

Posted by Mark Canlas at 02:01 PM | Comments (0)

Upgrade to Microsoft Update

Ahh, the latest and greatest of being a Microsoft fanboy/whore. Introducing... Microsoft Update! It's just like Windows Update, but it apparently includes updates for Microsoft Office 2003. That's all I've noticed so far. But hey, I'm all for automatic delivery of updates. Mmm, tasty. Time to evangelize and run around to everyone's computer, hackx0ring them and corrupting them with the newest and shiniest Microsoft update delivery mechanism.

You know you want to. >=)

Posted by Mark Canlas at 01:25 PM | Comments (0)

July 25, 2005

Perl Myths

Posted by Mark Canlas at 04:46 PM | Comments (0)

Dawn and Drew

Mmm, must make notes of memorable moments... Peanut butter and jelly cunt @ 15:30 (2005-03-14) [direct link to show].

Posted by Mark Canlas at 04:44 PM | Comments (0)

That's Hot

You know what? That is hot.

(Get it? It's a joke? A bunch of geeky guys solving chemistry problem in Perl? And then christening the solution as "hot" just like the phrase-bearing celebrity Paris Hilton? It's funny. Laugh.)

Posted by Mark Canlas at 03:56 PM | Comments (0)

How Do You Keep an Idiot Busy?

This way or that way.

As a bonus, here's a message that succeeded a story about a vagrant moon pie in someone's face:

moon pies are just plain .. gansta.. my homies just blast some fools on the corner with ho-hos... they aint never rollin through our hood again... you either get down or you go down.. you nukkas betta bow down... -GOD "The Original"
Posted by Mark Canlas at 03:49 PM | Comments (0)

Best Friends Forever

I was hanging out with my pal, Phil, and he was telling me about his friends from around the world. At the conclusion of his story, he goes, "Yeah, now we're totally BFF." I'm like, "BFF, what's that?"

Best friends forever.

It also describes a syndrome where people (usually fanatics) who meet the other people (usually the objects of their affection) imagine them to be instant friends or cohorts, based on few, usually singular, encounters.

I must admit, I am guilty of the same.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 02:11 PM | Comments (0)

July 22, 2005

Dawn of time, baby. Dawn of time.

Thank you Eric Meyer!!!

Posted by Mark Canlas at 02:44 PM | Comments (0)

Queer as Folk, Season 5, Episode 10. Brian's hallucination about Michael... Best writers ever. I love Brian's character so much I would just... Imitate him. Forever.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 12:22 AM | Comments (0)

July 21, 2005

some things in life are fun. some things in life are not fun. is life just as simple as weeding out the not fun and indulging in the fun?

Posted by Mark Canlas at 11:26 PM | Comments (0)


IN-LINE: Is it chilly up there in that ivory tower?

MINI-LANG: Go write some VBScript, weenie.


Posted by Mark Canlas at 10:54 AM | Comments (0)

Fantastic Four MBTI

Mr. Fantastic, NT
Johnny Storm, SP
The Thing, SJ (?)
The Invisible Woman, NF

Totally playing Make It Fit (tm)

Posted by Mark Canlas at 10:41 AM | Comments (0)

July 20, 2005

First there was the action, then there was the uniforms and the talking...

Then there was the football clash and the break... Then there was the pyramid and the super human like release.

Then there was the fade and the black and white flickering bar of fight club soap.

It was all so cinematic I couldn't believe I just made it up in my head.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 06:45 AM | Comments (0)

July 18, 2005

I feel better now. I'm sorry you had to see that, but I'm not sorry that I did it.

Can't be.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 05:40 AM | Comments (0)

Robert Epstein's four strategies for generating creative output

Posted by Mark Canlas at 01:45 AM | Comments (0)

July 16, 2005

Full of Hate

Today will be a day, full of hate.

By the way, here's a sample of my need creedo o creeds.

As I grow up, I want part of my vocabulary to remain juvenile. I want the vast majority of my life assessments deliniated by words like "awesome" and "cool", all the while avoiding things that "suck" or are "lame".

Be cool. Don't suck.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 09:44 AM | Comments (0)

July 13, 2005

Let's pretend you're here to get hired.

I wish you would get hired because you're kinda hot.

Oh, and to the person in the subway who I bumped into... Now that I look back on it, I was really mean. I should said something nice like, "Are you okay?" Besides, you were also kinda hot.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 05:41 PM | Comments (0)

Going back to browser sniffing isn't the way to go.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 01:59 PM | Comments (0)

Good use of the word mindshare. See? I'm not crazy.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 12:03 PM | Comments (0)

Green Tea Drops

Cool thing at work: green tea drops for water. It's probably just green tea goo or concentrate that dilutes itself with the addition of water. Instant tea? Instant coolness.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 11:06 AM | Comments (0)

July 12, 2005

grep for Windows

Posted by Mark Canlas at 03:45 PM | Comments (0)

niggles and niggardly

Posted by Mark Canlas at 02:18 PM | Comments (0)

I shut people off who have a difficult time communicating with me. Most likely because they are dumb.

But won't I be dumb to someone? Won't someone cut me off?

Their loss.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 12:03 PM | Comments (0)

I should be a little more professional about documenting this, but I just want to say that the following CSS behavior in Internet Explorer made me want to stab my eyes out. But with all of the CSS research I've had to do at work, what else is knew?

Given a table inside a div where the div has a width set... The table, which may have many columns, will make the div stretch to fit the minimum width of the table.

To override this behavior and maintain the width of the div, the recommended solution is to add an overflow property to the div. This property, set to scrolling or auto, will manifest itself properly on Safari and Firefox. Internet Explorer, of course, has issues.

For the purposes of this test, the div was also given a height. The constant height of the div and scrolling behavior was consistent in all browsers. For the width, however, Internet Explorer would still maintain that the table would force its parent div to expand to accomodate its minimum width.

The primary solution to this problem is to augment and restate the overflow properties by using two proprietary properties for Internet Explorer, overflow-x and overflow-y. Since the vertical behavior seemed to be consistent, overflow-y would merely be a redundancy and restatement of what overflow's implementation currently provides in Internet Explorer. The addition of overflow-x, however, in spaces hidden, scrolling, and auto, properly manifests itself as limiting the table to the confines of its parent.

So kids, if you're ever having trouble with minimum and maximum widths overflowing through containers in Internet Explorer, now you know what to do.

Kill yourself.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 11:40 AM | Comments (0)

Action Item

The Adventures of Action Item! via Slashdot

Posted by Mark Canlas at 11:29 AM | Comments (0)


Posted by Mark Canlas at 11:13 AM | Comments (0)


Posted by Mark Canlas at 10:30 AM | Comments (0)

July 11, 2005

July 10, 2005

the ears have walls....

Posted by Mark Canlas at 01:37 AM | Comments (0)

July 09, 2005

Are you reading this?

Posted by Mark Canlas at 01:52 AM | Comments (0)

July 08, 2005

July 07, 2005


Posted by Mark Canlas at 04:58 PM | Comments (0)

"We're gonna have to let you go."

Posted by Mark Canlas at 03:21 PM | Comments (0)

steal this idea: virtual a cappella group

Posted by Mark Canlas at 01:37 PM | Comments (0)

Music and you give me great pause.

Outside of myself, I'm increasingly annoyed at the amount of mindshare you're occupying right now.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 12:50 PM | Comments (0)

Do the Dew

I hope we're okay.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 03:14 AM | Comments (0)

July 06, 2005

roses are red, violets are blue, i'm schizophrenic, and so am i

Posted by Mark Canlas at 05:28 PM | Comments (0)

July 05, 2005

July 04, 2005

Can't Fill 60 Gigs?

From the Daring Fireball...

Itís too small a sample size to be statistically interesting, but all of the people I know who bought iPod Photos got the 60 GB models, and they all did so not because of the photo-synching features, nor because of the color screen, but simply because they wanted the larger storage capacity for their music. In fact, several of them still canít fit their entire libraries on a 60 GB disk.

Please, amateurs. iTunes reports I currently have 70.88 gigs of music. So, what now?

One melancholic note regarding the new lineup: there are no longer any iPods using Chicago 12 as their system font. The color-display iPods use Myriad, the Minis use Espy Sans, and the Shuffles use, well, nothing. One of the first things I noticed about the original 5 GB iPod was that it used Chicago 12, and I always felt it was a nice bit of homage to the original Mac ó not to mention that itís one of the greatest screen fonts ever designed. (Chicago 12 was the default system font from System 1 until Mac OS 8, when Charcoal debuted.) Itís quite readable, but also very distinctive.

Wow, is this dude sick or what? Who pays attention to detail like that? I mean, I did, once or twice... Just fonts that stick out on Windows or Eric's resume... But man, that's crazy. Eagle-eye for detail.

Posted by Mark Canlas at 10:11 AM | Comments (0)